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“For it is in giving that we receive . . .”  – St. Francis of Assisi 

In The Gift of the Magi, arguably O. Henry’s most famous short story, he tells about Della who had the most beautiful hair.  It was her pride and joy, a gift from God that she had allowed to grow for years so that when she let it completely down it flowed practically to her knees.  Her husband Jim adored her hair too, almost as much as he adored her, as they adored each other.  Christmas was approaching and Della had been squeezing every penny she could from her household budget to buy Jim a really special gift, but as with many young couples starting out in life money was tight and she had been unable to add much to the cookie jar.  It was Christmas Eve, she was out of time.  Desperate, she had but one option.  Her gorgeous hair could be sold for a substantial sum, so she decided to sacrifice it in order to fulfill her dream of buying Jim that special gift, a gold chain for the watch he cherished, a family heirloom handed down to him by his father who had inherited it from Jim’s grandfather.  It was the perfect gift.

After arriving home from work on Christmas Eve as the couple sat down for their evening meal Jim produced from his coat pocket a small, wrapped package, a surprise for his beloved Della.  Opening it Della gasped.  It was a set of jeweled combs Della had admired in one of the store windows, perfect for the long flowing hair she once had, until she sold it to purchase the watch chain.  Except, Jim who had dreamed of giving his wife the perfect gift had sold his precious family heirloom watch in order to afford the combs.

Several years ago my wife Tee noticed that the diamond drop necklace I had given her as a wedding gift many years before was missing.  The chain had obviously broken, and the necklace had fallen from her neck.  For months she grieved over the loss of her necklace until six months later after a miraculous series of events it was recovered.

What I learned from that incident was that Tee’s distress was not so much about the material loss, except for the sacred symbolism of it, which was the gift of our life-long love for each other.  So it was that in an amazing twist of irony, Della and Jim in sacrificing their most treasured earthly possessions for each other, received something far more precious, the depth of their love for one another.  “For,” St. Francis reminds us, “it is in giving that we receive.”

“. . . give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.”

• Proverbs 30:8 

Is it true that the one who dies with the most toys wins?  Or how about the one who accumulates the most money and property, the real life “Monopoly” game?  What about the one who is the most brilliant and has the most advanced degrees, or the one who has reached the highest level in his or her organization, the one who has traveled the most, is the best athlete, the most talented artist or musician, has won the most awards, or become the most famous or the most powerful?  In the end who is the winner?

If you could ask the wisest and richest man who ever lived, a man who spent most of his life accumulating and experiencing everything he could, gaining more wealth and fame and enjoying more sensual pleasures than any of us could ever imagine, King Solomon’s answer would be none-of-the-above.  He summed it up in an essay we know as the Book of Ecclesiastes in which he declared emphatically that nothing on this earth can fully satisfy the desire for complete fulfillment – nothing.  “Meaningless! . . . Utterly meaningless!” he declared.  “Everything is meaningless . . . a chasing after the wind.”

Let’s be clear, however, Solomon’s intention was not to discourage the pursuit of success through hard work and best use of our gifts and talents; for there is no denial of our need to provide for ourselves, take care of our families and have the ability to help others, to prosper through our endeavors.  Yet, it does beg the question, how much is enough?

A wise father, the father of one of my closest friends, instructed my friend as he was completing his education and about to strike out on his own, “you need to have enough,” he said, “but you don’t need to have too much.”  I suspect my friend may have been confused at first by his father’s words, for he had worked hard at preparing himself to become successful as he had always been encouraged to do.  But his father understood the wisdom in the Proverb writer’s prayer, “. . . give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me my daily bread.  Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you . . . or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.”  It was a great lesson my friend received from his father, and one I’m thankful he passed along to me.

“Turn from evil and do good; then you will dwell in the land forever.”

• Psalm 37:27 

I recall sitting in the office of an executive with the Wall Street firm where I was once employed discussing the challenges of dealing with unethical or marginally ethical people within our industry.  (Every profession has them, by the way.)  The executive with whom I was meeting made a comment I will never forget.  Bad people never last, he assured me.  Eventually they go too far, step over the line, and get caught resulting in disciplinary action, firing, revoked licenses, lawsuits, or prosecution – and on rare occasions all the above.  I disagreed; for it seemed these clever shysters were ever present in my world placing an enormous burden on my staff and me to constantly monitor and police their activities – not the best use of our time and energy.  It’s just a fact of life, though, that from petty dishonesty to crime to terrorism to murderous dictatorships, evil is forever among us, and indeed has been throughout the history of mankind.

Someone once said that no matter how things may appear, there is no future in evil, only in good.  Pondering that has caused me to take heart; for discouraging as it is when it seems the bad guys win, when we consider that throughout history when evil actually is defeated – and it always is eventually, though not necessarily within our lifetimes – it is because in some way good has prevailed, thus validating that there is no future in evil, only in good.  Or as my old Wall Street executive friend assured me, bad people never last.

On Mount Sinai Moses received the same assurance from the Lord himself who said, “. . . for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.”

So we should take heart in doing good, for by doing so we are paving a path for the future; as there is no future in evil, only in good.  Or as the Psalmist affirms, “. . . do good; then you will dwell in the land forever.”

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”  – Matthew 22:39

Loving America

On a road trip a few years ago with one of our granddaughters we stopped in St. Louis to visit the Arch.  While there I found myself standing in line next to an elderly gentleman on a walker wearing a baseball cap bearing the Stars and Stripes.  In a gesture to be nice I remarked to the man, “I like your cap.” Smiling back at me, this was his reply.  “I still love America, don’t you?”  Ironically, when that occurred I happened to be in the midst of reading If You Can Keep It: The Forgotten Promise of American Liberty, a newly released book by Eric Metaxas, which included a chapter entitled “Loving America”.

Prior to these simultaneous experiences I’m not sure I had given much thought about loving my native America and what that means, especially in light of the widespread ideological polarization and negative political rhetoric we are exposed to today.  But Lincoln believed, according to Metaxas, “that love of country is necessary, that America cannot and will not survive without it.”  To do so, though, requires taking a realistic view of America as being both heroically great, yet also deeply flawed.  We should, for example, feel a healthy sense of pride for the “greatest generation” who saved our country and the world from tyranny in World War II; or the courageous responders to the 9/11 attacks.  By the same token America has made shameful blunders in its history, the most obvious and egregious being slavery and the racism that continues to infiltrate our culture.  As Metaxas points out, “Heroism and ignominy both are part of our history.  The only question is whether, having seen both, we can repent of the one and rejoice and be inspired by the other.”  Considering both, then, can we still love America?

But there’s another factor yet to be mentioned, which has to do with Jesus’ command to “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  The late Fred Rogers, of “Mister Roger’s Neighborhood” fame, once told how when he was a small child his mother encouraged him to always look for the helpers.  She’s right, we should all look for the helpers, and they are not hard to find.  I see them every day, all around, and from every walk – kind, caring, generous, friendly, good people who love their neighbors.  When it gets right down to the basics, this is the America I wake up to and encounter every day.  And it is why I still love America.  Happy July 4^th . . .  and may God bless America!

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.”

• Ecclesiastes 3:1 

To me it is the most surreal story ever told.  It happened one day when Jesus invited three of his closest pals, Peter, James, and John, to accompany him on a hike up to the top of a mountain.  To their astonishment, on that mountaintop stood a couple of Jesus’ old friends from the past, famous men from hundreds of years before, one being Moses and the other Elijah.  Suddenly as Jesus chatted with them his appearance began to change, such that, as scripture tells us, “His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as light.”  For Peter, James, and John, it was like nothing they had ever experienced, beyond any magical moment one could ever imagine, as if time stood still.  Peter even suggested they put up shelters so they could all stay there forever, so the moment would never end.  It was not to be, though – at least not yet – and Jesus led the three back down the mountain from where they had come.

Have you ever had one of those surreal moments?  It happened once for me when we traveled to Italy several years ago with a group of close friends to tour the regions of Tuscany and Umbria.  The very first night we were there – tired and jet-lagged, yet full of excitement about the days ahead – we had dinner reservations at a quaint restaurant across from our hotel in the small city of Pietrasanta.  What we thought would be a simple meal and an early bedtime turned into one of the most magical evenings any of us had ever experienced.  The food, the wine, the ambiance, the people – whatever it was it felt as if time stood still.  We wanted to stay there forever.  It was not to be, of course.

This past week over lunch I had to bid farewell to my longtime friend, Charlie.  Over the years Charlie has been my counselor, encourager, teacher, spiritual advisor, pastor, role model, and confessor.  But the time had come that he must move on, to live closer to family as he should, and eventually, I’m sure, to become pastor, teacher, and confessor to others.  Except, I did not want him to go.  I wanted him to be around forever.

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.”  And one thing I have learned is that just as spring follows winter, so every ending is followed by new beginnings.  So it will be for my friend Charlie and me.