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“The integrity of the upright guides them . . .”  – Proverbs 11:3 

When we first started working together I was immediately impressed by my new colleague’s work ethic and intellect, two critical ingredients for being a successful business person.  In addition, after hours he often spent evenings meeting with a group of business partners involved in an outside venture of investing in commercial real estate.  Given all this, his work ethic, discipline, and brilliant mind, I was convinced this new work colleague of mine, was destined to become a wealthy man.  And did I mention he was also a really good human being who loved his family and had lots of friends?

Then suddenly, almost overnight it seemed, just as he and his investment partners were on the verge of making a killing on their holdings, the commercial real estate market collapsed, leaving them with nothing except debt up to their eyeballs.  Seeing no way to pay it off his partners chose to simply walk away, leaving their lenders holding the bag.  My colleague disagreed, choosing instead a different path and parting ways with his partners.  Rather, he felt bound to fulfill his debt obligation (there is a reason it is called a “promissory” note, so he believed), which as it turned out took him most of his remaining working years to pay off, besides sacrificing his chance to become the wealthy man he had once dreamed of, and as I had predicted he would.  But through that sacrifice he gained something far more admirable, proving himself to be a man of great integrity.

As the Proverb states, “the integrity of the upright guides them,” implying that those who desire to live honestly make choices based on what is true rather than what is expedient.  So, while my colleague’s partners chose the expedient route by leaving the lenders holding the bag, my friend chose what was true by upholding the promises he had made.

Integrity – not only is it the right way to live, but it also offers a better life.  Consider my colleague, always a jovial fellow, who over the many years I have known him seldom mentioned his misfortune, although it must surely cross his mind from time to time what might have been.  But for him it was a bump in the road about which he made the right choice, one that provided peace of mind, and a good life for he and his family.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”  – Matthew 7:1 

One of the first people I met when I went off to college was a guy named Ralph who lived down the hall in the same dorm.  Ralph grew up in Houston where he had graduated from a large well-funded high school.  I, on the other hand, came from a small rural community in northwest Texas where resources were more limited.  I liked Ralph at first, until we got into a squabble about the quality of education we had received from our respective high schools, his being superior he claimed since his school was surely better resourced.  It was an insult, whether he meant it to be or not.  Plus, I also knew that what our school lacked in resources was made up for in work ethic and determination.

Fast forward many, many years later, Tee and I were in Montana on a hiking and fishing excursion where we hired a fishing guide named Peter to take us fly-fishing.  Peter told us that he had retired from teaching school and coaching basketball in a small community in Alaska that was accessible only by small aircraft, which is also how his team traveled to compete with other schools.  In the course of the conversation I could not help but ask what became of those kids from such a remote place after they graduated high school, implying, much like Ralph, that they must have been disadvantaged by having such limited resources (without realizing it, putting the shoe on the other foot!).

To my amazement Peter began to tell stories about students he had taught who had been accepted to Ivy League schools, medical schools, law schools, West Point and Annapolis.  Who would have imagined?  It made me wish I had kept up with Ralph so I could tell him stories about the people I grew up with in Paducah, Texas who went on to become doctors and lawyers, successful business-people and leaders of organizations, nurses and teachers, fine citizens and community leaders and volunteers.

The problem with judging is the likelihood of misjudging, as we are seeing before our very eyes in the recent Russian invasion of Ukraine where Russian leadership has clearly misjudged the Ukrainian people in their resourcefulness and determination to defend themselves.  Jesus warns, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”  Likewise, we should be careful not to misjudge, for neither do we want to be misjudged.  I should know, having been both victim of one and guilty of the other.    

“. . . Love your neighbor as yourself.”  – Matthew 22:39 

For the past two years the world has suffered the worst pandemic in over a hundred years, claiming the lives of an estimated six million people worldwide.  Couple that with increasing rates of violent crime, an epidemic of drug abuse, rising rates of suicide, political turmoil, the highest inflation rate in forty years, not to mention the attack on Ukraine by its Russian neighbor, a move that places a threat on the rest of the world unlike any since World War II.  “These are the times that try men’s souls,” as Thomas Paine famously wrote in his 1776 pamphlet series, The American Crisis.

Indeed, it feels as if we are living in such times, doesn’t it?  Even worse is the helplessness we feel in fixing these things – to heal those stricken with COVID and stop its spread, to reduce crime and the flow of illegal drugs, treat mental illness, encourage our political leaders to work together, and all this as we pray for the Ukrainian people and a just and peaceful resolution to this bloody invasion.  “But what can I do,” we ask ourselves, “as these problems are beyond my capacity to help?”

During my corporate days, one year as we approached year’s end the fine people on my team suggested that rather than squandering money on each other at Christmas that perhaps we might instead pool those resources to help someone in need.  So, for the next few weeks we collected and purchased food, clothing, and other necessities including toys for the children, for a family we had identified.  Then, one crisp December afternoon we all went as a group to deliver their gifts.  One team member even dressed as Santa, providing a special treat for the small children in the family.  Sometime later the word got out about what we had done, so when the next year rolled around others outside our team wanted to participate, thus adding more resources so we were able to help two families instead of one, and the following year three, as our outreach project grew.

There seems to be an unexplainable miracle that occurs when you “love your neighbor as yourself,” a ripple effect that impacts others beyond what you ever imagined.  Helping others can be infectious in such a way that even in these times that are trying our souls, simple kindness to those who cross our paths can “ripple” far beyond what we can see or imagine – maybe even to those as far away as Ukraine.

“. . . let them rule over . . . all the earth.”  – Genesis 1:26 

To believe the essence of the creation story as it is told in the book of Genesis is to accept that the universe and all life within it are the works of a supreme creator – regardless of the process of how things may have specifically come into being.  And to accept that much of the story one must also recognize that humankind was somehow created distinctly separate from the rest of nature – that we were given intelligence and reason beyond that of every other being within creation.  That is to say, although we too are created beings along with the rest of nature, we are also different from it.  We are the only form of nature created in the image of the Creator.

Writer Annie Dillard once spent an entire year living by a creek in the mountains of Virginia expecting to be inspired and refreshed by being close to nature over an extended period of time.  What she discovered instead was quite surprisingly to the contrary.  She came to realize that nature, rather than being peaceful and serene as we like to imagine, is actually ruled by violence of the strong against the weak.  Tee and I used to observe the same thing while sitting out under the stars on our West Texas ranch.  That realization, however, should not diminish for us the beauty and majesty we see in nature, but instead should serve as a reminder of the role we play within it; that despite our many human flaws – including our own violence at times – we are the only creatures with the ability to subdue it.  We are, after all, given dominion over all creation by the Creator, and it is our sense of values borne out of our unique capacity to care and to love that empowers us to act as stewards of both nature and mankind.

So, unlike the rest of nature which is ruled by the strong overpowering the weak as Annie Dillard discovered, mankind is ruled by a higher form of behavior, guiding principles we call values – values which are formed out of our intellect, ability to reason, and capacity for love, influenced by such things as life experiences, social norms, and religious beliefs.  Everything we do, the decisions we make and the actions we take during the course of a day are based on our consciously or unconsciously held values.  So, since God created mankind in his own image and left us with this charge, “let them rule over all the earth,” isn’t creation best served when we, mankind, strive to align our values with those of the Creator as given to us through God’s Word?

“I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.”  Ecclesiastes 3:12 

Occasionally I suggest to my coaching clients that they should write their own epitaph. The intention of this exercise is not to be fatalistic, but visionary.  In other words, if you can sum up in just one short sentence or phrase how you would like to have your life described at its conclusion you have essentially written a vision statement, the purpose of which is to provide direction for your life.

Years ago we had the good fortune to become acquainted with a man named Max, who had at one time been a prominent banker, rancher and successful businessman until a severe stroke rendered him mostly paralyzed and in need of full-time care.  Always cheerful and outgoing Max puttered around the facility where he resided in his motorized wheelchair visiting with fellow residents and greeting visitors as they came and went.  My mother happened to reside there as well, and that’s how we met Max.

Max never forgot anything.  He remembered everyone’s name, where they were from, and what they were up to.  Having a conversation with Max was an absolute delightful experience.  He was inquisitive, interesting, and funny.  But Max did something I will never forget.  At the end of every conversation before we parted ways, he would always remind us in some way to go live our lives to the fullest.  Then, looking us in the eye his departing words would always be the same, “Remember, this is not dress rehearsal.”

At first I was puzzled by Max’s closing remarks, suspecting perhaps it had something to do with his confinement to a wheelchair, or regrets about things he had done or failed to do.  Maybe . . . Except Max didn’t seem much like the type to harbor regrets or disappointments.  In fact, based on the stories we heard and the enthusiasm he continued to show I suspect Max had lived his life with the same vigor he was encouraging us to have.  Max appeared to be a man with a vision, a clear direction for his life, an epitaph.

“I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live,” said the writer of Ecclesiastes.  All it takes is to customize that for our own lives, and – voila! – we have written a vision statement – an epitaph at life’s conclusion.