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“Love your enemies . . .”  – Matthew 5:44 

Several years ago a friend of mine was invited to speak at a conference where he unintentionally offended one of the participants in the audience who sent him a scathing text message afterwards.  How painful that must have been to receive such a message!  Yet, if he indeed felt angry and hurt, as I am sure he did, he certainly didn’t respond by lashing back at the man.  Instead, he sent a polite invitation to his persecutor to join him for coffee the next morning, which much to the man’s credit he graciously accepted.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy,’” Jesus said in his famous Sermon on the Mount.  “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”  I have always struggled with this one.  How is it possible to love someone who my natural inclination is to hate, and with some justification, someone who is insulting, mean, and vicious, who falsely accuses me of something I said or did, is set to do me harm physically or emotionally, or take away what is rightfully mine?  To turn the other cheek, then to forgive, that’s one thing.  But to love my enemy?

My friend never disclosed what was said between he and the other gentleman, nor whether either of them was convinced to change his point of view.  What did become clear was that after sharing a cup of coffee and some civil discourse, they both walked away, maybe not as friends, but with a new-found respect for one another as human beings.  Is that what it means to love our enemies?  I’m not sure, but for me it came as close to helping me understand it as any modern day story I know.

Oh, how much easier it is to hate our enemies and persecutors than to love them!  But this is Holy Week, the holiest week of the year for Christians.  We recall the Passion story of Christ, beginning with his triumphal entry into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, only to be put on trial based on false allegations, then brutally executed before a jeering crowd.  Jesus had every right to be angry and hurt.  Yet, how did he respond?  Like my friend who, instead of lashing out, invited his persecutor to have coffee, Jesus invited the thief on the cross next to him to join him in paradise – an invitation intended not just for the repentant thief, but for everyone, even those who drove the nails into his hands and feet.  That’s what I call loving your enemies, don’t you think?

“I lift up my eyes to the hills; from where is my help to come?”  Psalm 121 

For the most part I’m a pretty sore loser.  That’s not to say I’m not gracious about it, it’s just that I don’t like to lose.  So, what’s wrong with that, you ask, shouldn’t we all strive to win?  Perhaps, except I hate to lose so much that too often I refuse to accept challenges at all when it appears the odds are stacked against me.  If it doesn’t look as if I’ve got a good chance of winning I just don’t play.

Now, that’s probably smart when it comes to things such as investing in the stock market.  Who, for crying out loud, would be foolish enough to buy a stock if the odds are stacked against it ever going up?  No, when we invest in the stock market we do so based on the belief that our stocks will go up.  But let me ask you, have you ever taken on a challenge where logic says you have no chance to win, yet even under the slimmest odds you did it anyway because it was so worthwhile or you simply felt called to do so?  To be so undaunted by fear of failure or losing requires conviction and courage, doesn’t it?

Here’s the point.  Sooner or later each one of us is going to be blindsided with some sort of overwhelming challenge anyway.  Disaster will strike, a crisis will emerge, and we will find ourselves face to face with Goliath – a giant twice our size.  So why not instead pick a few insurmountable challenges of our own rather than waiting for fate to choose for us – things that matter, that make a difference, that make the world a better place for others as well as ourselves?  Ask yourself these three questions.  What are my dreams that seem out of reach?  What passions do I keep locked away?  What footprints do I want to leave behind from my walk on this earth?  How you answer these questions will determine which insurmountable challenges are worth taking on.

So, then the question of courage arises, from where is it to come?  The psalmist wrestled with the same thing.  “I lift my eyes to the hills; from where is my help to come?” he asked. Then he answered his own question, “My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.”  You’ll find your courage there, too.  Believe it – and go for it!

“. . . bear fruit – fruit that will last.”  – John 15:16 

Have you ever known someone who was born into a life of privilege, having been offered every opportunity you can imagine on a silver platter, yet for whatever reason they blew it, never becoming the person of character or success they could have been?  I’m sure you have witnessed such tragedy.  We all have.  On the other hand, have you known someone from a disadvantaged background who, in spite of all kinds of adversities, managed to grow into a person of great character attaining extraordinary success?  Of course you have.  Perhaps you are one.

We are all born into circumstances – rich, poor, or middle-class.  But circumstances do not create character; they merely reveal it.  So, what forms character?  First we would probably all agree it is the influence of another person, a role model who has demonstrated good character and served as a teacher or mentor.  And certainly some are more fortunate than others to be exposed to such positive influencers, regardless which side of the tracks they come from.  Yet, even then some blow it while others take the right path.  What makes the difference?

Ultimately the formation of character is a matter of choice, and we all have the freedom to choose how we respond to life’s circumstances. Someone once suggested that if freedom is defined as “the opportunity to make decisions”, then character is “the ability to make right decisions”.  If that is true, then one of the quickest ways to reveal the true character of a person is to give him the freedom to choose his own path.

Character is not a one-time choice, however, but a choice we must make each and every day in each and every circumstance.  Unfortunately, some blow it, while others seem to have developed the ability to take the right path in almost every circumstance. They are people we would say have great character.

Character, though, is not just a matter of what we choose NOT to do such as lie, cheat, or steal, but more importantly what we choose TO do; that is, doing what God created each of us to do from the very beginning, to bear fruit, which Jesus later reemphasized, “I chose you,” He said, “to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last.”

“Therefore encourage each other and build each other up.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 

As a grandfather myself, I find great wisdom in the story about the old Cherokee man teaching his grandson about life.  “A fight is going on inside of me,” he says to the boy.  “It’s a terrible fight between two wolves.  One is evil – he is full of rage, jealousy, arrogance, greed, sorrow, regret, lies, laziness, and self-pity.”  He continues, “The other is good – he is filled with love, joy, peace, generosity, truth, empathy, courage, humility, and faith.  This same fight is going on inside the hearts of everyone, including you.”  The grandson thinks about this for a few minutes, and then asks his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”  The old man replies, “The one you feed.”

Part of our time this past weekend was spent cheering on one of our granddaughters who was competing in a gymnastics meet.  It is part of what we do as much a possible, attending sporting events, theater, recitals, concerts, and other events our grandchildren participate in.  Not that we play much of a role, as most of the heavy lifting is handled by their very capable and involved parents, like getting them there on time, seeing to it that they are prepared, dressed appropriately, and giving pep talks.  We mostly just show up to be part of the cheering section.

As passive as that may sound, grandparenting, as we have learned, is not a role to be entered into lightly.  Rather, grandparents’ relationships with grandchildren, if taken seriously, can be consequential in their formation.   It is the reason we show up as much as possible and be part of their lives as much as we can, not out of some sense of duty, but because we are genuinely interested in their activities, proud of their courage to get in the arena and participate and compete – win, place, or simply show up.

Which brings me back to the parable about the wise old Cherokee grandfather; for our grandchildren have those same two wolves fighting inside of them, as we all do, the one for evil versus the one for good.  But if we grandparents play our cards right by showing up and cheering them on as much as we are able, that might provide just the extra nourishment needed for the good wolf to prevail.  It is called encouragement.  “Therefore encourage each other and build each other up.”  And when we do, who knows, we might be feeding someone else’s good wolf too.

“. . . do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret.”  – Matthew 6:3 

I recall reading an article several years ago in one of the big New York newspapers – either the Times or Wall Street Journal, I don’t remember – about a wealthy couple who had pledged a large sum of money to the New York City zoo, only to withdraw their pledge after feeling insulted by the size of the plaque recognizing their generosity, which in their opinion, was way too small. . . .  “Oh, give me a break!” I remember thinking.

Then, a few years later one of my close friends confided in me that he was considering making a large gift to a certain charitable organization who wanted to honor his generosity with a large plaque bearing his name.  Unlike the New York couple, though, my friend at first refused, preferring his gift remain anonymous.  But, in what seemed like a contradiction on my part, I argued that he should accept the organization’s offer to recognize him; for I had remembered once stumbling across such a plaque bearing the names of my grandparents who had made a similarly generous gift.  Had I not seen that I would have never known, for neither my grandparents nor anyone else in the family had ever mentioned it.  But that moment of discovery has ever since inspired me to be more generous.  And as I told my friend, one of these days his children or grandchildren might stumble upon that plaque inspiring them to also become more generous donors.

“When you give to the needy,” Jesus says, “do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret.”  I wonder sometimes, is Jesus really that concerned about secrecy, or is it with the heart of the giver?  That is what caused me to react the way I did when I read about the wealthy couple from New York.  What were their real motives, to serve the community, or their personal fame?

As I had encouraged my friend, there are times when it is good that giving is made public, especially when it speaks to the hearts of others, as my grandparents had inspired me. And we should be thankful for those who share their good fortunes for the greater good.  But for those of us – that being most of us – who are quietly generous in smaller ways, often one needy soul at a time, I can’t help but believe we contribute as much to keeping the world aright as the big public donors do.  The fact is it takes both.