Category Archives: Uncategorized

“. . . you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.”  – Matthew 11:25 

A major corporation could not figure out how one of its competitors consistently outperformed them in nearly every measurable category such as profitability, stock performance, customer satisfaction, employee retention, and safety.  Both were excellent companies and among the world’s largest. A friend of mine, a fellow executive coach, who happened to be doing some contract work with the company at the time, shared with me how the company had employed brilliant people to do exhaustive studies of their competitor’s processes and business model, yet failed to identify the secret sauce of their success. The secret it seems, that in addition to their exceptional processes and business model, was their focus on people – customers, vendors, employees – and how they were treated and cared for. It was right before their eyes yet hidden in plain sight.

You may be familiar with the story about the lesson Fred Rogers, of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood fame, had learned from his mother. “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news,” he once shared with his television audience, “my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people helping.’”  A powerful message for sure, but I wonder how impactful it might have been were it not for two words, which until recently I had failed to notice – “look for.”  Amid all the scary news, Mrs. Rogers was trying to teach her young son that there are also beautiful things going on by good people. . . BUT, you have to remember to “look for” it.

Told together these two stories offer a metaphor for Jesus’ teaching, “. . . you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.”  My coach friend kept encouraging the “wise and learned” corporate executives to “look for” how their competitor treated people, the true secret of their success, which though in plain sight, remained hidden; while a small child, through his mother’s encouragement, “looked for” and discovered much goodness taking place even amidst scary news.

We too are constantly subjected to scary news, yet how like the “wise and learned” we neglect to “look for” the helpers, the goodness of people – our neighbors and friends, sometimes hidden in plain sight. They are our hope and good news amidst the scary.

“Two are better than one . . . If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 

My grandmother Wilson, or Munna as we grandkids lovingly called her, always had a shiny new Cadillac at her disposal sitting in the garage, courtesy of my grandfather, except she never drove it.  I can count on one hand, with probably a couple of fingers to spare, the number of times I ever saw her behind the wheel.  That changed, however, after my grandfather passed away who had always served as her chauffeur.  After that she had to drive herself, which she did twice a week, on Wednesdays to the grocery store, and on Sundays to church.  Except she didn’t exactly drive herself, she had a co-pilot.

After Munna was widowed her sister, my great Aunt Jenny, moved into her grand home so the two could look after each other and not be alone.  It was a great arrangement that lasted many years.  But if Munna seldom drove a car, Aunt Jenny never even learned how.  To make matters worse, Munna suffered from failing eyesight caused by glaucoma, and Aunt Jenny was hard of hearing.  What a pair, you might think.  But we had a joke in our family that when they got in the car together Aunt Jenny was the eyes and Munna the ears, and between the two of them they made many a round trip together.

“Two are better than one,” the wise writer of Ecclesiastes reminds us, for “if one falls down, his friend can help him up.”  Or in the case of my grandmother and great aunt, one’s weakness was compensated by the other’s strength, and vice versa, so that what neither could manage alone, together they did quite well.  As the Apostle Paul points out, “Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function . . . [yet] each member belongs to all the others.”

Patrick Lencioni calls it teamwork.  “It is teamwork that remains the ultimate competitive advantage, both because it is so powerful and so rare,” he points out in his highly acclaimed book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.  Notwithstanding that in today’s world turning two elderly women loose on the streets with such physical limitations as Munna and Aunt Jenny would be considered dangerous (but this was long ago and in a small town), what a team they were.  And as far as I know that shiny Cadillac never suffered a scratch.  To be pitied is the one “who falls and has no one to help him up!”

“To each one of us grace has been given.”  – Ephesians 4:7 

Have you ever felt as if you were being watched, followed, or spied on?  Or how about this, one day you suddenly became aware of the fact that someone has been following you around, watching your every move all your life, yet until that moment you had never realized it?  Sounds creepy, doesn’t it?  It is creepy I suppose, unless you realize as I did that the one following you around has been there not to cause you harm, but to watch over you in your every move.  Grace is her name, as I finally discovered, and she has managed to station herself nearby my entire life in every place I have ever been, and everything I have ever done, bad or good, wise or foolish.

I was well along in life before it occurred to me about Grace’s presence, but I realize it now, like the time my Dad backed over me in his car.  I was only five-years-old at the time out playing in the front yard of our home when a toy I was playing with rolled across the street.  I ran across to retrieve it and just as I approached our driveway on the return trip my Dad happened to be backing out in his car unaware of my proximity.  The car did strike me, except my older brother who was nearby came running out screaming, “Daddy stop!  Daddy stop!” which he did, just in time to prevent me from being run over.  Grace saved me that day – also my Dad! – using my big brother as her instrument.

Grace has always been there for me, not just to save me from danger or my own foolishness (and there’s been plenty of that), but she has also been there to bless me in many ways, like the time she used Tee’s friend Donna as her instrument in arranging for us to meet on a blind date that quickly evolved into a fifty-four year love affair, a beautiful family of children and grandchildren, and a blessed and prosperous life.

I’ve just been lucky, you might say, and you would be right.  So, why hasn’t Grace shown up for the less fortunate like she has for us?  Because Grace seldom works alone, but invites others in to be her instruments, like my older brother was in my own story, and Tee’s friend Donna.  So, in the case of the less fortunate, it is not because Grace is not watching over them too, she simply needs more instruments.  For “to each one of us grace has been given,” and for those of us who have received it opportunities abound to multiply it by sharing that grace with others.  Amazing how Grace works.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”  – Matthew 7:3 

Even though it has been almost forty years ago, what I did still haunts me.  I was a young rising-star business executive back then, and pretty “hot stuff” so I thought.  One day on my way home from work I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few items, but just as I approached a certain checkout lane the clerk closed it, as it was either break time for her, much deserved I’m sure, or the end of her shift.  But I was in a rush, not to mention feeling self-important, so I proceeded to berate her for inconveniencing me, and even though I saw the hurt in her expression and tears form in the corners of her eyes, not once did I offer even the slightest apology.  And that incident has haunted me ever since.

I would like to say that is the worst thing I’ve ever done, but sadly I’m afraid I have offended far more people in far worse ways than that.  Yet, why that one instance has lingered in my conscience I’m not sure, except it has been a gift in a way, perhaps because the shame and guilt of it has helped mold me, hopefully into a better person.

These chaotic times we are living in seem to foster quick tempers.  We see it globally from the military conflicts raging in various parts of the world, to the political polarization in our own country from national to state to local, all the way down to our personal encounters with others in the ways people cut one another off in traffic, for example, to anger over political signs our neighbors place in their yards, all of which too often turns into violence against one another.  No wonder people get angry, myself included.

And that, I think, is where that haunting memory of my rude behavior in the supermarket all those years ago has become a gift, by reminding me when someone cuts me off in traffic, treats me or someone else poorly, has radically different political views, or worse, high profile people like politicians and entertainers getting involved in scandals, that yes I too have a history of bad behavior.  I even catch myself at times using other’s misdeeds as an excuse for letting myself off the hook from my own.  So, that makes Jesus’ question a convicting one, doesn’t it? “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself.” – Luke 10:27 

Can you imagine a football or baseball game without rules, a business or organization without policies, or society absent laws and regulations?  The purpose of laws, regulations, rules and policies, after all, is to provide structure and order.  Without them it would be chaos.  But while rules, regulations, laws and policies do an overall effective job controlling human behaviors within reasonable boundaries, the one thing they cannot do is form or change a person’s character; for character comes from the heart, and is represented by behavior beyond simply abiding by the letter of the law.

My least favorite duty back in my Wall Street days was being responsible for ensuring everyone within my scope of influence abided by the rules and regulations, being a policeman of sorts.  I hated that.  But it wasn’t keeping people within the boundaries of the rules that was so difficult; rather the challenge was that certain people mistook abiding by the letter of the law with actually doing what is right.  Not the same.

Ironically it was an “expert in the law” who questioned Jesus about the most important commandment, for which he already knew the correct answer.  “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself,” the man quoted from Deuteronomy.  And, being a strict rule follower he challenged Jesus further to clarify who exactly is one’s neighbor.  That’s when Jesus launched into perhaps his most famous parable, the story of the Good Samaritan.  We all know it well.  A man was lying beside the road half dead after being beaten and robbed.  A priest and a Levite each passed by without offering help – perfectly legal according to the Law.  But a Samaritan came along and stopped to render aid – doing what is right, beyond simply abiding by the letter of the law.

Laws, rules, regulations and policies do help to provide structure and order to society, and help us distinguish right from wrong.  But true obedience to the law is not simply following it to the letter, rather living within the spirit of it by loving God and loving others, obedience to which can only come from the heart.  That is why abiding by the letter of the law and doing what is right is not always the same thing.