“. . . choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . .”  – Joshua 24:15  

Have you ever known someone who was born into a life of privilege, having been offered on a silver platter every opportunity imaginable, yet for whatever reason they blew it, never becoming the person of character or success they could have been?  I’m sure you have witnessed such tragedy.  We all have.  On the other hand, have you known someone from a disadvantaged background who despite all kinds of adversities managed to grow into a person of great character attaining extraordinary success?  Of course, you have.  Perhaps you are one.

We are all born into circumstances – rich, poor, or middle-class.  But circumstances do not create character; they merely reveal it.  So, what forms character?  First and foremost, we would probably all agree it is the influence of another person, a role model who has demonstrated good character and served as a teacher or mentor.  And certainly, some are more fortunate than others to be exposed to such positive influencers, regardless which side of the tracks they come from.  Yet, even then some blow it while others take the right path.  What makes the difference?

Ultimately the formation of character is a matter of choice, and we all have the freedom to choose how we respond to life’s circumstances. Someone once suggested that if freedom is defined as “the opportunity to make decisions”, then character is “the ability to make right decisions”.  If that is true, then one of the quickest ways to reveal the true character of a person is to give him the freedom to choose his own path.

Neither is character a once-and-it’s-done choice; rather, it is a choice we must make each and every day in each and every circumstance.  Unfortunately, some blow it.  Others, though, seem to have developed the ability to take the right path in almost every circumstance. They are people we would say have great character.

While we are not always in control of our circumstances, we are in control of the choices we make within those circumstances.  And it is those choices that reveal our character.  So, “. . . choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . .”

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last.”  – John 15:16 

Pat Paschal, a classmate of mine from elementary school all the way through high school, had the misfortune of struggling with health issues most of us never experienced, having been stricken with polio as a small child, and suffering from severe asthma all his life.  But you’d never know it, for he never complained or let it hold him back.  In fact, maybe either because of it or in spite of it, by adolescence he had developed into a young man of great determination and an impressive work ethic.

No place was that determination and work ethic more noticeable than when he played high school football.  He went all out, all the time.  One year it was the last game of the season against our biggest rival who had this monster of a player named Borchardt who no other team had been able to stop.  It so happened Pat was positioned just opposite him on the opening kickoff – David facing Goliath.  But what happened after that was like two freight trains colliding head on at full throttle.  Pat held nothing back, smashing into that huge guy with all he had.  The crash could be heard all the way to the press box, the two men flying backward in the air landing on flat on their backs, both out cold.

It was my lifelong best friend Steve who over lunch not long ago brought this story to my attention.  Steve had played next to Pat on that same kickoff squad, so had witnessed what happened first hand.  Recalling that event led us both to reflect on our own lives, and to realize how often we had chosen to play it safe, unlike our friend Pat Paschal who seemed to hold nothing back, never shy about taking risks for the right causes.

There’s an old saying that a ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.  The same holds true for us, does it not?  We may choose to spend our lives playing it safe, but is that the purpose for which God created us?  “You did not choose me,” says Jesus, “but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last.”

What if Pat Paschal had chosen to play it safe that night?  Borchardt would have ruled the football field.  Instead he took the risk, holding nothing back, and that bore fruit for the rest of the game – not to mention the fruit his example still bears all these years later.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  Proverbs 27:17 

The former CEO of my long-time corporate employer, a large Wall Street investment bank, used to say that “people will always be in need of the advice and counsel of a fellow human being.”  When he first said this, it was exactly what everyone needed to hear, for it was in the late 1980’s just when the internet was gaining traction in revolutionizing all sorts of commerce, creating fear among those in almost every industry that the new electronic age would soon replace humans altogether.  The financial services industry being at the leading edge of that fear needed to hear our CEO’s inspiring reminder more than ever, that human beings will always need other human beings.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  Looking back, it is amazing how prophetic were the words of our former CEO, for as much as the internet has become a fast and reliable universal resource it has yet to replace the need for human interaction and expertise.  Take medicine, for example, there is all kinds of information about diseases, ailments and conditions on the internet, but when we are ill we still need a doctor, do we not?  The same can be said for almost any profession.  People will always need the advice and counsel of a fellow human being.

“There is a mental sharpness that comes from being around good people,” I read recently in an article, “and a meeting of minds can help people see their ideas with new clarity, refine them, and shape them into brilliant insights.”  Those words, in fact, are practically the mantra of executive coaching, my current profession, a profession created specifically for the purpose of one person sharpening another.   Ironically coaching as a profession didn’t even exist prior to the evolution of the internet.  Could it be that the overwhelming volume of information available at the mere click of a mouse actually increased awareness of the need for human interaction rather than suppressing it?

Two people who bring their thoughts and ideas together can help each other become sharper – just as iron sharpens iron.  “People will always be in need of the advice and counsel of a fellow human being.”  Technology will never replace that.

“Death has been swallowed up in victory.”  1 Corinthians 15:5 

“The Bible says my King is the King of the Jews.  He’s the King of Israel.  He’s the King of righteousness.  He’s the King of the ages.  He’s the King of Heaven.  He’s the King of glory.  He’s the King of Kings, and He’s the Lord of lords.  That’s my King!  I wonder, do you know Him?  My King is a sovereign King.  No means of measure can define his limitless love.  He’s enduringly strong.  He’s entirely sincere.  He’s eternally steadfast.  He’s immortally graceful.  He’s imperially powerful.  He’s impartially merciful.  Do you know Him?  He’s the greatest phenomenon that has ever crossed the horizon of the world.  He’s God’s Son.  He’s the sinner’s Savior.  He’s the peak of civilization.  He’s unparalleled.  He’s unprecedented.  He is the loftiest idea in literature.  He’s the highest personality in philosophy.  He’s the fundamental doctrine of true theology.  He’s the only one qualified to be an all-sufficient Savior.  I wonder if you know Him today.

“He supplies strength for the weak.  He’s available for the tempted and the tried.  He sympathizes and He saves.  He strengthens and sustains.  He guards and He guides.  He heals the sick.  He discharges debtors.  He delivers the captives.  He defends the feeble.  He blesses the young.  He serves the unfortunate.  He regards the aged.  He rewards the diligent, and He beautifies the meager.  I wonder if you know Him.  He’s the key to knowledge.  He’s the wellspring of wisdom.  He’s the doorway of deliverance.  He’s the pathway of peace.  He’s the roadway of righteousness.  He’s the highway of holiness.  He’s the gateway of glory.  Do you know Him?

“Well, His light is matchless.  His goodness is limitless.  His mercy is everlasting.  His love never changes.  His word is enough.  His grace is sufficient.  His reign is righteous, and His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  I wish I could describe Him to you.  Yes, He’s indescribable.  He’s incomprehensible.  He’s invincible.  He’s irresistible.  You can’t get Him out of your mind.  You can’t get Him off of your head.  You can’t outlive Him, and you can’t live without Him.  Well, the Pharisees couldn’t stand Him, but they found out they couldn’t stop Him.  Pilate couldn’t find any fault in Him.  Herod couldn’t kill Him.  Death couldn’t handle Him, and the grave couldn’t hold Him.  I wonder if you know Him?”  (“That’s My King!”, from a sermon by the late Dr. S.M Lockridge,) . . . The Lord is risen, and “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak . . .”  James 1:19                   

 A man was going to a party where he would be meeting his wife’s co-workers for the first time.  He felt anxious as the time of the party grew near, wondering whether they would like him or not.  Then he came up with an idea, an experiment, that instead of trying to impress everyone he would simply spend the evening listening, responding with phrases like “I understand what you’re saying, you feel strongly about that. . .” or “Let me see if I understand what you mean. . .”  To his amazement, each person he talked to during the evening seemed content to be listened to without interruption.  On the way home, his wife (whom he had not told about the experiment) told him that a number of people had made a point to tell her what a remarkable person he was.  (Story paraphrased from Attracting Genuine Love by Drs. Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks)

Knowing she was anxious to tell her friends all about our recent trip to Israel, I overheard my wife Tee call someone the other day to visit.  But as it turned out the friend she called had been going through some difficult personal issues and in desperate need of a listening ear from someone who cared.  So, being the kind and thoughtful person she is, Tee graciously postponed her own agenda until another time, devoting the entire conversation instead to the needs of her friend.  Overhearing this it occurred to me what a generous and loving gift my wife had given her friend – to simply listen.

We live in an incredibly noisy society today, thus the competition to be heard is fierce.  Notice, for example, how our elected officials yell at each other rather than debate, how people out in public are constantly texting or chatting on their cell phones, or how often even private conversations become plagued by interruptions, one person trying to one-up the other – all desperate cries to get someone’s attention, to be heard.

So, what a brilliant move by the man who decided to spend his evening listening at the party rather than talking, and what an act of mercy on my wife’s part to listen and be present with her suffering friend!  “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak. . .,” the scriptures remind us.  Or as the famous prayer attributed to St. Francis of Assisi says, “Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.” . . . . And not so much to speak as to listen.