“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No’, ‘No’ . . .” – Matthew 5:37 

Dan Sullivan in his book How the Best Get Better describes what he calls the four habits of common decency. (1) Show up on time; (2) Do what you say you’re going to do; (3) Finish what you start; and (4) Say please and thank you. I’ve often thought that if a young person embarking on a new career were to ask for my advice I would first encourage that person to strive for excellence at his or her chosen profession, becoming the best they can be. Then, and of equal importance, I would share with them Dan Sullivan’s four habits of common decency and advise that they focus on developing those habits. Why? Because all else being equal, it is character that will be the tipping point in the level of one’s success, besides being the right thing to do.

I’m reminded of the story about a young family from my small northwest Texas hometown who like many folks in that part of the state during the mid-1950’s found themselves burdened with debt and struggling to make ends meet due to a severe and extended drought. This family, like many others, was ultimately forced to move away for better paying jobs and more promising opportunities. When they left town it seemed they owed one of the local grocers a large sum of money on their grocery bill which they were unable to pay. But rather than just walking away from the debt, they instead went to the grocer and promised to settle the account as soon as they got back on their feet. Sure enough true to their word they did indeed over time repay the debt, every penny. Eventually they not only got back on their feet but actually grew to become quite prosperous in their new life.

The importance of character should never be underestimated in our respective endeavors. And while there is always a need for people who are excellent at what they do, there is an even greater demand for competent people who happen to be of good character, who do the right things for the right reasons – like: Show up on time; Do what you say you’re going to do; Finish what you start; Say please and thank you. Or as scripture tells us, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No’, ‘No’” . . . like the example of the young couple who repaid their debt to the grocer, doing what they said they were going to do.

“But the noble make noble plans, and by noble deeds they stand.” – Isaiah 32:8 

A tornado touched down in a somewhat upscale neighborhood this past week, one of many episodes of violent weather that occurred across much of our nation. In this instance, while thankfully no one was injured, there was still considerable property damage due to fallen trees, blown down fences, broken windows, and serious roof destruction leading to water damage inside the homes. The neighborhood was a mess.

The film footage of the aftermath reported by local television stations not only revealed the extent of the damage, but in the background you could see scads of people busy cleaning up debris, boarding up broken windows, and climbing on rooftops to make temporary repairs as best they could. Alas! – these were not professional disaster responders, just regular folks, neighbors helping neighbors.

A few weeks ago, an elderly neighbor fell in her driveway while going to get the mail and was unable to get up. Seeing her predicament, we rushed out the front door to assist her. Thankfully, except for a few scratches, she was not seriously hurt, and we were able to help her up and return safely back inside her home. Neighbors helping neighbors, of which we have more often been the grateful recipients than the helpers.

Such noble acts of kindness and generosity involve no fanfare; it is simply what neighbors do for each other; what caring people do. And there are lots of kind, generous, caring people around – more than we can imagine.

In her poem Nobility nineteenth century American poet Alice Cary penned these beautiful words: “True worth is in being, not seeming / In doing, each day that goes by / Some little good – not in dreaming / Of great things to do by and by. / For whatever men say in their blindness, / And spite of the fancies of youth, / There’s nothing so kingly as kindness, / And nothing so royal as truth.”

“But the noble make noble plans, and by noble deeds they stand.” Or as Mother Teresa once said, “We cannot do great things on this earth, only small things with great love.” Neighbors helping neighbors, how noble is that!

“. . . choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve. . . . as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” – Joshua 24:15 

Mohandas Gandhi (1869-1948) spent 2,338 days (that’s nearly six and a half years) in British jails. Far from considering it punishment, however, Gandhi chose to use his imprisonment as an extended time for reflection and writing. The result was that no human in recent history had greater influence on our world through a course of non-violence, having led a fifth of the world’s population to independence.

“Next to life itself,” according to Stephen Covey, “the power to choose is your greatest gift.” Every human being, regardless of circumstances, is granted the gift to choose. Most of us chose what to wear today from a wide array of garments hanging in the closet; and chose from a variety of foods in the pantry what to eat for breakfast. We may take this for granted, but if asked most of us would confess gratitude for these choices. Choice, however, is not limited to the privileged middle and upper classes. Consider the opposite extreme. Those for instance, who suffered the atrocities, abuse, disease and starvation of the Nazi concentration camps, observed Dr. Viktor Frankl, himself a Holocaust survivor, either chose to share and help their fellow prisoners, or they chose to focus on self-survival. It seems difficult to imagine, but the power to choose, limited though it may have been, still existed even within those most horrendous circumstances.

Covey, in his definition, uses the word “power”, for we are indeed empowered by the gift of choice. Covey goes on to say the following: “This power and freedom stand in stark contrast to the mind-set of victim-ism and culture of blame so prevalent in society today. Your power to choose the direction of your life allows you to reinvent yourself, to change your future, and to powerfully influence the rest of creation. It is the one gift that enables all the gifts to be used; it is the one gift that enables us to elevate our life to higher and higher levels.”

Joshua’s words challenge each of us to “choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.” Gandhi chose to serve a higher purpose over victim-ism, thus changing the world. You and I have that same power of choice. Whom then will we choose this day to serve?

“Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways . . .” – Psalm 25:7 

Could-a, would-a, should-a. Occasionally my mind likes to play the what-if game. Does that ever happen to you? It entails looking back at my past life and imagining what if I had done this instead of that, made this choice instead of that one, gone a different direction from the path I took. Could-a, would-a, should-a, I like to call it. What a foolish waste of time, though, an exercise that tends to lead to feelings of regret! Two things generally awaken me from such mindless wanderings. One is the reality that the clock cannot be turned back anyway, so forget about it. There are no do-overs, what’s done is done. The other is the fact that many other choices I’ve made have actually been good ones, excellent in fact. The first that comes to mind is my spouse, the love of my life, from whom our family was spawned, and love continues to grow. Then there are the careers I have chosen, of which I can’t imagine doing anything that could be more rewarding.

Whenever I wrestle with the what-if game I also realize that I’m simply playing armchair quarterback with my life, looking back with 20-20 hindsight, through a lens of wisdom which I’ve gained more of – thanks to the experiences and choices I’ve made through the years – but was clearly lacking at the time I made many of those choices.

I once read an essay by the late Bob Buford, author of the bestselling book Halftime, in which he made the case that football games are most often won in the second half. He used that analogy to demonstrate how our lives are much like football games, concluding that, “The first half gets you in the game . . . [but] the second half is for your best plays.” When I read that it occurred to me that all the choices we make in the first half, the good ones as well as the mistakes, the successes as well as the failures, contribute in preparing us for our best plays in the second half.

I still find myself praying often that same prayer of the Psalmist: “O Lord, ‘remember not the sins of my youth . . .’” to which I’m inclined to add: “. . . but neither allow me to dwell too much on could-a, would-a, should-a. Instead, use the wisdom I’ve gained from the first half of the game to be used in the second half – for the best plays.” So, here’s to the second half, and the best plays of our lives!

“Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so some people have entertained angels without knowing it.” – Hebrews 13:2 

After twenty-five years living in the same house in Dallas, a few years ago we decided to pack up and move out to the rapidly growing suburb of McKinney – new town, new home, new neighborhood. Soon after getting settled we realized we needed to get to know our new neighbors. So, being the Christmas holiday season, we planned a party for the neighborhood to see who might show up. After setting a date and time, we printed up some home-made invitations, placed them in our neighbors’ mailboxes, set out some food and drinks, turned on the porch light, and waited for the doorbell to ring. Sure enough it worked; for people came, some of whom have become good friends, others mere acquaintances, and a few we’ve hardly seen since, mostly because they moved away.

Not long ago we were attending a charity event at which we were seated at a table with a group of strangers. In the course of the conversation with the couple sitting next to us we discovered that they had once lived in the next block on our same street but had moved away because their family needed a larger house. But they had loved our neighborhood, raving about what a great place it was to live and how they had hated to leave. “Remember,” we heard them say, looking at each other, not at us, “when those nice new people moved in down the street and invited everyone to that big Christmas party in their home? That was so much fun!” Now, if they seemed startled when we told them that was us, we were even more startled that our little gathering had been so memorable.

Hospitality is nothing more than making other people feel comfortable and at home. But some are afraid their home is not large enough or nice enough to entertain others. My grandmother would have begged to differ; for while her house may have been small and modest, she seemed to always have a steady stream of people visiting in her tiny living room where she would graciously serve her guests freshly baked cookies or a slice of cake right out of the oven along with steaming hot coffee poured into her best china cups.

“Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so some people have entertained angels without knowing it.” Or by doing so we might be deepening a friendship, lifting someone’s spirits, or creating a pleasant memory for someone we never met before.