“. . . they returned to Galilee to their own town of Nazareth.” – Luke 2:39 

As has been my custom these past fifteen years, after this issue Abundant Living will take a sabbatical for the rest of December, returning in January with a new series. So, as the year approaches its conclusion, as many of us do this time of year, I have been reflecting on the events of the past year in my own life, only to discover that nothing especially extraordinary happened. By that I mean we did not go on any exotic trips, no cruises, visits to foreign countries, or other adventurous excursions; we didn’t move into a new home or remodel the one we live in; no new grandchildren were born into our family; nor have there have been any major changes in our business or volunteer activities. Likewise – thankfully! – there is no significant bad news to report, no health issues, job losses, or tragedies of any sort; just ordinary life.

But alas, what is there to talk about in our annual Christmas card newsletter? Hmm! What about the first ever first-cousins’ reunion that we attended in Arizona last spring where my cousin Kitty and I saw each other for the first time in fifty-six years? Reunions may seem ordinary to some, but for those of us who attended it was extraordinary. And our home? It may look the same, except at least once a week it comes alive, filled with friends, food and laughter. And what about all the time we spend with our grandchildren, playing with them, cheering them on, being engaged in their lives? And the lives Tee touches each week mentoring in the public schools and volunteering at Hug’s Café, and the clients I have the privilege to work with in my executive coaching practice?

Contrary, you see, to the barrage the media subjects us to about high-profile people and major world events, most of real life occurs in the ordinary. Not that those people and events don’t matter, for they do impact us all. But it is through the ordinary encounters we experience each day – helping, encouraging, supporting, teaching, mentoring and influencing others in positive ways – that provides the ballast that keeps the ship aright, that prevents the world from completely capsizing – always has. Is it any wonder then, that the Creator of the universe, the King of kings, the Savior of the world – God himself – when he visited our planet two-thousand years ago, chose to dwell among the ordinary, whose humble parents after birthing him in a stable “. . . they returned to Galilee to their own town of Nazareth,” an ordinary village of ordinary people living ordinary lives?

“. . . unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.” – John 12:24 

Ah, the annual autumn battle with the oak leaves! We do love the eight large gorgeous oak trees that surround our home, especially the beautiful fall colors they produce – that is, until they begin raining down into big piles all over the yard. This past week we have raked leaves every single day in desperate attempt to keep our yard looking nice, a seemingly endless battle as the overnight breeze simply blows down more. Yet, not far away the wooded trails where we often jog and bike the leaves remain unviolated by rakes and leaf blowers creating a thick carpet over the ground where during the course of winter they are left to slowly decay, enriching the soil and providing nourishment for the new vegetation in the forthcoming spring. It is nature’s way of demonstrating how death becomes life-giving. Mind you, it is only the foliage that dies, not the entire tree.

We humans are like that. When a part of our self-centered nature dies it becomes life-giving. When we surrender our addictions and other things we think we can’t live without, we position ourselves to nourish, restore and replenish others, to offer them new life. There is no better example of this than what occurs in Alcoholics Anonymous which is comprised of people who have surrendered their addictions to God through the support of fellow human beings who have walked the same path. It is a beautiful thing how one who has surrendered – that is, died to part of oneself – is able to in turn “sponsor” another through his or her surrender, a dying that becomes life-giving. Lives are recovered, relationships restored, and new ones formed. AA works because one person’s death to a life of addiction becomes life-giving to another.

Each of us is like a grain of wheat, and until we die to ourselves, we remain just a grain of wheat; but if we die, we produce much fruit; our death becomes life-giving, filling our lives and those of others with abundance, meaning, and purpose.

Autumn is such a beautiful time, my favorite season of the year. It is a time when part of nature dies, yet from that death new life is nourished – just like what we do when part of us dies.

“A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”

• Proverbs 11:25 

The alternate route proved to be a narrow one lane dirt road along a rugged hillside on the outskirts of Tegucigalpa, Honduras. The quick decision to detour resulted from a tragic accident up ahead that shut down the main highway. As other drivers from both directions diverted to this tiny path, it too became gridlocked.

Time was scarce. It was the last day of our mission trip, and even under the best of circumstances we had precious few hours to complete the projects we had begun a week earlier. Yet, here we were in the middle of a primitive hillside barrio jammed with busses and trucks unable to pass by one another. Imagine an LBJ Freeway traffic jam, or a Times Square gridlock with horns blaring and tempers flaring!

Suddenly the driver of the oncoming truck stepped out of his cab and meticulously guided our yellow school bus between the deep bar ditch on the right and his own vehicle. Once passed, our own driver stepped out and did the same for the next oncoming vehicle. Driver after driver calmly and patiently stopped to help one another in what had appeared to be a hopeless situation, until we miraculously reached the open road leading to our destination. Although we arrived at our rural worksite an hour and a half late, our projects were completed with time to spare.

There was a sense of calm in observing our Honduran friends working together. It was a great lesson for our small group of fourteen results-driven, type-A North Americans. We saw a narrow road with room too scarce for two vehicles to pass. Our Honduran friends, on the other hand, saw a road with abundant space when shared generously.

This experience happened to me many years ago while serving on a mission team in Honduras, and it is not the first time I have shared this story. But what a great example of how generosity works, how it tends to even things out for everyone, benefiting the giver every bit as much as the receiver. For as the Proverb says, “A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” Amazing how that works!

“They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green . . .” – Psalm 92:14 

If you were anything like me starting off in life you probably had this wild dream in the back of your mind that “if I can ever achieve enough financial success in life to have all the things I want, plus enough set aside so that I don’t have to break my back to make ends meet, I will have achieved the American dream.” (Thankfully, some of you pursued a higher calling than me.) Again, if you were like me the possibility of that ever happening was so remote that it was – well, just pure fantasy. Looking back on that now, though, I realize how foolish I was; for I did eventually wake up one day and realize that achieving financial success is not necessarily all it’s cracked up to be.

In one of his many brilliant and convicting parables, Jesus tells of a rich man whose land produces an abundant harvest, enough so that the man decides he should build bigger barns in which to store his surplus grain, after which he plans to kick back and enjoy life for many years; “eat, drink and be merry,” he says (Luke 12:13-21). At one time I would have agreed with the man.

I’m curious how the concept of retirement became so prevalent in our society, to the extent of almost being an entitlement. Some speculate it was the establishment of Social Security, which as the average life-expectancy continues to increase, has evolved from being a stopgap for the aged as it was first intended, to becoming a long-term pension for the masses. Others credit the decades of post-World War II prosperity that led to the growth of corporate pension plans and the ability to accumulate wealth through 401k plans and the like. We all expect it though, don’t we, myself included. Plus, we fear the warnings from the financial services industry (my old stomping ground) that if we fail to save enough for the “golden years” and invest it wisely our goose will surely be cooked.

Of course it’s wise that we should strive to attain adequate financial resources in order to provide for ourselves and our families in the future in case our ability to earn diminishes. But more importantly, it frees us to use our time, treasure and energy for the benefit of others, and for the advancement of God’s Kingdom. And if we can possibly do so, don’t we all have this wild dream in the back of our minds to live out our days like the Psalmist says? “They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green.”

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made . . .” – Psalm 139:14 

In my practice as an executive coach it is not at all unusual for people who are somewhere in mid-life, and more times than not quite successful, to come to me floundering with their life and career, questioning if they are living the wrong life. I’ve never found it to be an easy issue to coach people through, although I do understand their plight, having been there myself. But an article I read not long ago from the magazine Psychology Today shed some light on the subject. It suggested telling someone floundering in mid-life to “try to remember what you were all about when you were 10.”

Why 10? According to the article, titled “The Rule of Age 10”, there is extensive research supporting that around age 10 is when “the lights come on full beam, revealing the road ahead.” “Age 10,” it goes on to say, “is a developmental sweet spot. You’re old enough to know what lights you up, yet not so old that adults have extinguished that fire by dumping more practical and realistic options on it.” My own interpretation is that at age 10 we have developed a more mature right brain without losing that “inner child” curiosity and creativity, but at a higher level. Yet it is before parents, teachers, and society in general begin steering us toward filling our left brains with all the logical and practical knowledge deemed necessary to function in the real world, which tends to erode that childlike state of receptive curiosity.

During my own season of “mid-life floundering”, the coach I had retained to help me was extraordinarily insightful, long before publication of “The Rule of Age 10” article. But she understood the principles behind it, launching me on a journey to recover that sense of curiosity and creativity that had been dampened so long ago by the expectations of logic and practicality. It’s a long and endless journey, but one that has restored my sense of joy and meaning, and a re-discovery of that sweet spot that a 10-year-old experiences.

What I now know for sure is “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” And so are you, words that are not wishful thinking, but fact. For, each of us is created in the image of the Creator, and one can’t be more wonderfully made than that. So, if you’re in that place of searching for your sweet spot – and everyone has one – you might “try to remember what you were all about when you were 10.” You’ll be glad you did.