“Be on guard! Be alert!” – Mark 13:33 

It has been suggested that there are three kinds of people in the world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who ask, “What just happened?” The obvious question for all of us is, “which one am I?” The answer is all the above; for depending on the circumstances in which we find ourselves at various times, we may be in one category or the other. At times we may be the instigator, other times the observer. But then there are those occasions when – well, we are simply blind-sided by something that we didn’t see coming.

It was exactly eight years ago I had one of those experiences. Tee and I had risen early to go out on our routine morning jog through the neighborhood. We had not gone far when without warning I collapsed face down in the street, requiring paramedics and the whole nine yards. In the emergency room it was discovered I had suffered a double pulmonary embolism – blood clots in both lungs – an event that is often fatal. Further tests revealed a rare blood condition that caused the clots, for which I now take medication. The point is, it was one of those moments that – after I came to – caused me to ask, “what just happened?”

There’s an old saying; either lead, follow, or get out of the way. That is, whether we are making things happen or watching things happen, either way we are involved or at least aware. It’s when we are unaware that we are the most vulnerable. Had I known, for example, about my rare blood condition, the blood clot incident might have been avoided.

We are all subject to blind spots, things about ourselves of which we are unaware. That is why for those of us in the profession of coaching leaders and executives, part of our purpose is to help create awareness with clients of their blind spots – either behaviors that cause one to be less effective than she or he could be, or behaviors that are highly effective if used more intentionally. The goal is to try to minimize those moments when we look up and ask, “what just happened?”

No one can completely avoid being blind-sided. The best we can do is take steps to become more self-aware, and otherwise “Be on guard! Be alert!”

“Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” – Genesis 1:28 

With football season well under way, there is no shortage of games to watch on TV. And whether you’re a fan or not, most of us Americans have at least a rudimentary understanding of the game. But just in case, here are the basics. Two teams on the field, each trying to score points by penetrating the goal line of the opposing team. Each team has an offensive squad and a defensive squad. The purpose of the offense, which means it has possession of the ball, is to advance toward the opposing team’s goal. The purpose of the defense is twofold: (1) to defend against the advancement of the opposing offense, and (2) to regain possession of the ball on behalf of their own team’s offense.

It behooves us to live our lives likewise; for we each have a purpose, something we spend our lives advancing toward. But there are times when we are not in possession of the ball. We encounter obstacles, requiring us to play defense. And just like football, the purpose is twofold: (1) to defend against being deterred by the obstacles, and (2) to regain possession of the ball on behalf of achieving our real purpose.

At age ninety, after living a remarkably active and purposeful life, my grandmother suffered a mild stroke. While not terribly debilitating, it nonetheless impacted her health status enough that she was no longer able to live alone. My mother and her siblings went through that painful process of moving her to a place where she would be properly cared for. My grandmother immediately went into defensive mode, resisting the change in every way. Soon, though, she regained possession of the ball and began moving about through the corridors of the nursing home on a mission to lift the spirits of her fellow residents with her cheerful personality and deep faith, exactly what she had been doing all her life.

After creating us in His own image, God delegated us the responsibility of caring for His creation and moving it forward. “Be fruitful and increase in number,” He instructed us, “fill the earth and subdue it.” Although obstacles may sometimes force us into a defensive posture, that should not deter us from striving to regain “possession of the ball” so that we can continue to move down the field – to fulfill our God-given purpose. Or as the Apostle Paul says, “Run in such a way as to get the prize.” (1 Corinthians 9:24)

“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No’, ‘No’. . .  – Matthew 5:37 

Despite my carefully planned exit strategy from the corporate world a number of years ago, I was nevertheless left with some unexpected challenges. Among them were: “What will be my next profession or career?” “How will I reclaim an identity now that I am no longer associated with my previous company and profession?” “How will I fill up the abundance of newly acquired discretionary time I have on my hands?” In an attempt to deal with these challenges, I found myself saying yes to everything. Anytime someone asked me to serve on a board or committee or in some other voluntary capacity I said yes without hesitation.

That season of saying yes served me well for a time, helping me work through some of the challenges. I discovered things about myself, gifts and talents I never knew I had, as well as identifying some things I am not so good at. That time of deeper self-awareness is what eventually helped me identify a new profession to pursue, along with a fresh identity. And as for all that abundance of discretionary time I had on my hands? By that time it was filled to capacity. That’s when I had to start learning to say no.

But for most of us saying no is difficult. We perceive it as weakness, failure and letting people down. And why is that? Barbara Brown Taylor explains in her book An Altar in the World, that “in a ‘can do’ culture where the ability to do many things at a high speed is not only an adaptive trait but also the mark of a successful human being . . . [and] we harbor pride that we are in such high demand.” Thus, when we don’t live up to the culture’s expectations, we feel guilty that we failed and let someone down. Taylor, however, views it otherwise, that the ability to say no is in fact a discipline to be developed rather than avoided, what she refers to as “the practice of saying no.”

It occurred to me in reading Barbara Brown Taylor’s book that there is a time to say yes and a time to say no, and unless we engage in “the practice of saying no” we’ll never reach our full potential when we answer yes. In my case, that season of saying yes to everything gave me a better sense about those things to which I should say no, as well as those to which I should say yes. At that point, the decision became much less difficult. “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No’, ‘No’”.

“. . . you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.” . . . “Well done, good and faithful servant.” – Matthew 25:20,21 

Until I read Julia Cameron’s classic book, The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, my long-held belief had been that creativity was limited to those we often think of as “real artists” – painters, sculptors, writers, musicians and the like. It never occurred to me that we are all creative. But as Julia Cameron explains, if we are in fact created in the image of the Creator then it stands to reason that we too are creators. In other words, we are all endowed with the gift of creativity in some form.

In the “Parable of the Talents” Jesus tells of a wealthy man who went away on a journey. In his absence he entrusted his financial assets (talents) with three managers. To one he entrusted five “talents”, to another two, and to the third one. After his return he called upon his managers for an accounting. The manager who had been entrusted with five talents as well as the manager with two had each doubled his money during his absence for which the wealthy master was extremely pleased. But the third man had not bothered to invest the money at all with which he’d been entrusted, but instead had hidden it away. For that the master was not only disappointed but furious.

I’ve often wondered why the master was so angry; after all he got his money back which seems better than losing it, right? Maybe that was a little disappointing, but to be furious? Then several years ago I began to study Julia Cameron’s works and that’s when the parable started to make sense to me; that is, we too have been entrusted with certain gifts, talents or resources with which we can either choose to invest in the good work of God’s Kingdom or do nothing, the equivalent of squandering.

Sometimes we define creativity too narrowly, confining it to only that small chosen group of “real artists.” But in reality, everything we do requires creative choices. God has given each of us some special unique creative ability and entrusted us to invest it wisely. Or as Julia Cameron says, “The Great Creator has gifted us with creativity. Our gift back is our use of it.” So, how are you investing what’s been entrusted to you?

“Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.” – Romans 15:2 

Imagine a young teenager being preyed upon by cyber-bullies, which tragically has become a common occurrence in our society today. As we all know, such hurtful behavior can be especially devastating for someone at that vulnerable and tender age. So, it was with this child who, from all the awful things being said to her and about her over the internet, went into an emotional tailspin of deep depression. But then an amazing and unexpected thing happened. Dozens and dozens of letters started pouring in from friends and neighbors within the community expressing encouragement and support. It was that overwhelming encouragement that brought about the turning point when she began to rebound from her anxiety and depression. Soon she was back on solid ground looking forward to a bright and productive future.

Far from being an imaginary story, we witnessed this happen, and were in fact among those who wrote letters of support and encouragement. I recall feeling especially empathetic toward her because of an experience I had had in my own life. I was in my junior year of college, a time when I should have seen light at the end of tunnel toward graduation. Instead, I hit a wall, a period of self-doubt, a what-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life crisis. My grades began to suffer as I lost faith in myself, even doubting God. Then an amazing and unexpected thing happened. A single letter arrived in my mailbox one day. It was from John, a man who was like a second father to me – a neighbor! – yet not one in the habit of writing letters. There it was, though, in barely legible handwriting, at most four or five sentences long, part much-deserved kick in the shorts, and part much-needed and appreciated message of encouragement, exactly what I needed. It was, like the young teenager, the turning point when I began to rebound.

Each of us should probably be asking ourselves who we know who needs a word of encouragement? The answer, of course, is everyone! As someone once pointed out, “There isn’t one person in your line of vision who is as confident as they seem. We’re all one failure, snide comment, or bad hair day away from self-doubt.” Therefore, “Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up.” What a difference those scores of letters made in the life of that young teenager, and what a difference that one single thoughtful letter made to me!