“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  – Proverbs 27:17 

As a youngster, especially as an adolescent I had the good fortune of being surrounded by wise people I could go talk to, most notably my parents of course, but also teachers, school principals, coaches, my church pastor, other adults I looked up to, and at least one or two very close friends my own age with whom I could have serious conversations about life issues.  Those were good years for me, in great part because of those good, wise people I had to talk to when I needed someone to talk to.  College was a different story.  By that time I suppose I thought I had it figured out and could do it alone, thus I never made the effort to seek out those trusted advisors who would keep me grounded and on the right path.  I paid a price for that, losing focus for a period of time on what I was there for, causing confusion about my future and life purpose.

Who do you talk to when – well, when you just need someone to talk to?  Seriously, for as best I can tell having a trusted friend, advisor, mentor, or confidante is as much a universal human need as food and shelter.  And failure to pursue fulfilling that need can be as unhealthy as bad nutrition, indeed malnutrition.

There is a mental sharpness, a sense of clarity that comes from having relationships with good, wise people who listen and challenge and stimulate thought, who focus on you and your ideas without involving their own egos; people who know how to challenge the thought without attacking the thinker.

I learned a valuable lesson from that experience in college, after which I made a promise to never again be without wise people surrounding me, people I can talk to when I need someone to talk to.  The only difference is that at my age now, except for my wife and a few close friends, most of those trusted confidantes tend to be “younger and wiser” rather than “older and wiser.”  But that is as it should be, for they possess knowledge and experiences that I lack which makes them as capable of keeping me grounded and on the right path as the elder statesmen of my youth.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another,” says the ancient Proverb.  So, who keeps you sharp?  Who do you talk to when you just need someone to talk to?

“. . . let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”  – Matthew 5:16 

Regardless if we are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, brilliant or simple, young or old, we all influence the lives of those with whom we come in contact in some way.  Influence is perhaps the most powerful of all human social characteristics in that anything we say or do may shape the life of someone else, often times without our being aware.

Once, many years ago, while attending a large gathering I overheard a man telling someone else that he was in the process of changing careers, one that on the one hand would limit his income but on the other would allow him the freedom to do those things that are more meaningful and significant.  I’m quite sure that gentleman never knew there was someone eavesdropping, nor did he realize that what he said would powerfully influence the life of a bystander.  But it was in that moment that a seed was planted in my mind that began the process of my own career change some years later.

Who’s listening when we speak?  Who’s watching what we do?  Who’s observing our everyday lives?  Who’s overhearing our conversations?  For better or worse, who are we influencing and in what way?  It is sobering to realize the power we have to influence good or evil, success or failure, hope or despair, inspiration or disappointment.

Like the man whose conversation I inadvertently overheard at a party we seldom realize the far-reaching impact of our influence.  Perhaps that is even more reason to be conscious of the awesome responsibility we have in what we say and how we behave, for every word we speak and every action we take inevitably shapes the life of another.

There’s a quote I once read attributed to John Quincy Adams.  “The influence of each human being on others in this life is a kind of immortality,” he said.  Therefore, “. . . let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

“He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame.”  – Proverbs 18:13 

What steps of preparation do you take before making a major decision in your life?  In my case, if confronted with that question, I’m afraid the answer would too often be either “jumping the gun,” or “jumping to conclusions.”  Like the time I was so excited about a certain job offer that I refused to listen to those who warned me against it, nor did I pay attention to the warning signs that in retrospect should have been obvious if my vision had not been clouded by my ego, ambition, and financial greed.  I jumped the gun instead of listening and investigating the facts, much to my own folly and shame.

The late J.C. Penney (1875-1971), founder of the department store chain bearing his name, was said to have had a unique method of checking out candidates he was interviewing for executive positions for tendencies to jump the gun or jump to conclusions.  This became known as the “salt test;” for when selecting new managers, he would often take the candidates out to lunch where he had a cardinal rule, those who salted their food before tasting it did not get hired.

It has been suggested that there are three basic principles to making sound decisions: (1) get the facts before answering; (2) be open to new ideas; (3) make sure you hear both sides of the story before judging.  All three of these principles center around seeking all the information possible before making a decision or passing judgment.  And what great preventative measures they are to avoid the mistake of jumping the gun or jumping to conclusions, no doubt the characteristics Mr. Penney was digging for through the “salt test” with the candidates he was interviewing.

As one who is not in the habit of reaching for the saltshaker, I might have been lucky enough to have passed Mr. Penney’s salt test.  Yet, just last evening I ordered a cup of gumbo in a restaurant of which I tasted not a single drop without first dousing it with several liberal shakes from a Tabasco sauce bottle.  Hmm!  Haven’t I learned anything from the job blunder I made those many years ago?  “He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame,” according to the Proverb writer.  It is a great reminder to all of us when facing the question, what steps of preparation do you take before making a major decision in your life?  Follow the three principles, or jump to conclusions?

“It is fine to be zealous, provided the purpose is good . . .”  – Galatians 4:18 

I’m curious, who are those elusive people out there known as “hackers”?  By hackers, I’m not talking about lousy golfers, instead those computer geek types who are sneaking around out in the cyber world trying to steal confidential information such as passwords to bank accounts, personal identities, or intellectual property, the sophisticated thieves of our day.  I have this image of some zealous loner computer geek who never leaves his apartment, spending all his time staring at a screen thinking up devious schemes to either steal or vandalize.  How tragic it is for these people that they choose to use their zeal for technology and their brilliant computer skills for evil when it could be used for so much good.

“It is fine to be zealous,” the Apostle Paul says, “provided the purpose is good.”  Contrast, for example, those elusive cyber criminals with three other zealous individuals I had the opportunity to spend time with recently.  Ruth Thompson founded Hugs Café for the purpose of providing training, employment, and future employability to adults with special needs, those who many had casted off as untrainable and unemployable.  Yet, through her zeal for this population many now have productive jobs, a community of friends, a purpose in life, and most importantly knowing they are children of a God who loves them.

Then there are Colleen and Rand Southard, founders of Charis Hills, a summer camp program for young people also with special needs.  Similarly, the results are that these young people discover they are perfectly capable of riding a horse, catching a fish, paddling a kayak, singing a song, and developing true friendships – and again most importantly knowing they are children of a God who loves them.

Ruth, Colleen and Rand are three of the most zealous people I have ever known, so zealous in fact that it is almost impossible to get them to talk about anything else.  They are also three of the most joyful people I have ever known.  To hang out with them is to witness almost nonstop smiles and laughter, and that is the result not of their zeal, but the amazing good that comes from it, the lives that are transformed. . . Oh, if the hackers only knew!  Oh, if we who do know could only reach them and teach them!

“For it is in giving that we receive . . .”  – St. Francis of Assisi 

In The Gift of the Magi, arguably O. Henry’s most famous short story, he tells about Della who had the most beautiful hair.  It was her pride and joy, a gift from God that she had allowed to grow for years so that when she let it completely down it flowed practically to her knees.  Her husband Jim adored her hair too, almost as much as he adored her, as they adored each other.  Christmas was approaching and Della had been squeezing every penny she could from her household budget to buy Jim a really special gift, but as with many young couples starting out in life money was tight and she had been unable to add much to the cookie jar.  It was Christmas Eve, she was out of time.  Desperate, she had but one option.  Her gorgeous hair could be sold for a substantial sum, so she decided to sacrifice it in order to fulfill her dream of buying Jim that special gift, a gold chain for the watch he cherished, a family heirloom handed down to him by his father who had inherited it from Jim’s grandfather.  It was the perfect gift.

After arriving home from work on Christmas Eve as the couple sat down for their evening meal Jim produced from his coat pocket a small, wrapped package, a surprise for his beloved Della.  Opening it Della gasped.  It was a set of jeweled combs Della had admired in one of the store windows, perfect for the long flowing hair she once had, until she sold it to purchase the watch chain.  Except, Jim who had dreamed of giving his wife the perfect gift had sold his precious family heirloom watch in order to afford the combs.

Several years ago my wife Tee noticed that the diamond drop necklace I had given her as a wedding gift many years before was missing.  The chain had obviously broken, and the necklace had fallen from her neck.  For months she grieved over the loss of her necklace until six months later after a miraculous series of events it was recovered.

What I learned from that incident was that Tee’s distress was not so much about the material loss, except for the sacred symbolism of it, which was the gift of our life-long love for each other.  So it was that in an amazing twist of irony, Della and Jim in sacrificing their most treasured earthly possessions for each other, received something far more precious, the depth of their love for one another.  “For,” St. Francis reminds us, “it is in giving that we receive.”