“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  – Proverbs 27:17 

During my investment banking days, I once got into a heated debate with my boss about the performance of a certain individual in our firm, who my boss considered invaluable because of his genius bond trading ability.  While I could not disagree about his superior skills, the problem was he made enemies with almost everyone with whom he came in contact, which I argued was costing the firm more than his genius produced

The problem with genius, Liz Wiseman explains in her brilliant book, Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter, is that some seem “to drain intelligence and capability out of the people around them.  Their focus on their own intelligence and their resolve to be the smartest person in the room has a diminishing effect on everyone else’s.”  Others, however, use “their intelligence as a tool rather than a weapon.  They apply their intelligence to amplify the smarts and capability of people around them.”  Wiseman refers to the former as “diminishers” due to their tendency to be “so absorbed in their own intelligence that they stifle others and dilute the organization’s crucial intelligence and capability.”  The latter she labels as “multipliers” who bring out “the intelligence in others, creating collective, viral intelligence in their organization.  One leader is a genius.  The other is a genius maker.”

This whole concept she cleverly summarizes in the opening chapter of the book with a quote by Irish rock star Bono.  “It has been said,” Bono states, “that after meeting with the great British Prime Minister William Ewart Gladstone, you left feeling he was the smartest person in the world, but after meeting with his rival Benjamin Disraeli, you left thinking you were the smartest person in the world.”

Gladstone and Disraeli were both indisputably genius leaders in their time.  But if one was a “diminisher” and the other a “multiplier” – that is, one purely genius versus the other a genius maker – which do you suppose had the greater and longer-lasting impact?  And that, fundamentally, was the argument I was having with my boss that day.  Certainly, the bond trader’s genius was to be applauded and rewarded, but how much more could have been produced by his genius had he been a multiplier rather than a diminisher?  For, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

“Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.”  – Genesis 1:28 

Fan or not, if you are American you probably have at least a rudimentary understanding of the game of football.  Beginning around this time of year games seem to appear on practically every other TV channel.  The basics of the game are: two teams on the field, each trying to score points by penetrating the goal line of the opposing team.  Each team has an offensive squad and a defensive squad.  The purpose of the offense, which has possession of the ball, is to advance toward the opposing team’s goal.  The purpose of the defense is twofold: (1) to defend against the advancement of the opposing offense, and (2) to regain possession of the ball on behalf of their own team’s offense.

It behooves us to live our lives likewise; for we each have a purpose, something we spend our lives advancing toward.  But there are times when we are not in possession of the ball.  We encounter adversity, requiring us to play defense.  And just like football, the purpose is twofold: (1) to defend against further advancement of the crisis at hand, and (2) to regain possession of the ball on behalf of achieving our real purpose.

At age ninety, after living a remarkably active and purposeful life, my grandmother suffered a mild stroke.  While not terribly debilitating, it nonetheless impacted her health status enough that she was no longer able to live alone.  My mother and her siblings went through that painful process of moving her to a place where she would be properly cared for.  My grandmother immediately went into defensive mode, resisting the change in every way.  Soon, though, she regained possession of the ball and began moving about through the corridors of the nursing home on a mission to lift the spirits of her fellow residents with her cheerful personality and deep faith, exactly what she had been doing all her life.

After creating us in His own image, God delegated us the responsibility of caring for His Creation, and moving it forward.  “Be fruitful and increase in number,” He instructed us, “fill the earth and subdue it.”  Although adversity may sometimes force us into a defensive posture, that should not deter us from striving to regain “possession of the ball” so that we can continue to move down the field – to fulfill our God-given purpose.  Or as the Apostle Paul says, “Run in such a way as to get the prize.”  (1 Corinthians 9:24)

“. . . to each one of us grace has been given . . .” – Ephesians 4:7 

It was on a blind date arranged by a mutual friend that Tee and I first met.  That was fifty and a half years ago.  Skeptical at first, we both almost declined the invitation having had rather poor experiences in the past with such arrangements.  But, “oh well,” we each decided, why not try it one more time.  And when our eyes met for the first time there was an instant connection, like no other either of us had ever experienced.  By the end of our second date we were bonded, bonded for life as it turned out, for on September 4, 1971, fifty years ago this very weekend we were married.  Together we have raised a family, supported each other through all kinds of trials, laughed a lot, cried a little, suffered through scarce times and rejoiced in prosperous ones, tried things that didn’t work and some that did, shared meals together, traveled, read books and watched movies, worked together and played together – and most importantly, loved each other.

Sometimes I shudder to think back on the beginning of our relationship, how immature, unprepared, and ill-equipped I was for such a serious commitment.  Although freshly discharged from active duty in the military and gainfully employed, I was still sponging off my parents, not what one would consider totally self-sufficient.  Neither had I quite yet completed my college degree, nor sure what I wanted to do with my life.  With my head not screwed on exactly straight, I was hardly the model of a prince-charming fitting for such a fine young lady as Tee to present to her family.  But she did, and they could not have been more gracious, loving, and accepting into their family.

Such is God’s grace, isn’t it?  Blessings and mercy and forgiveness and love and joy and acceptance in abundant supply, freely offered – often unexpectedly – even to the immature, undeserving, ill-equipped, and ill-prepared, like me fifty years ago.  But as the Apostle Paul assures us, “to each one of us grace has been given.” 

And just as it was grace that brought us together, it is grace that has bound us together these past fifty years, that has prospered us in many ways, blessed us with two fine sons and their lovely wives, who have borne us five beautiful granddaughters.  And it is grace that will surely lead us on in the years to come as every day we love each other more and more.

“And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?”

• Esther 4:14 

With all its drama, power, romance and intrigue the Biblical story of Esther could easily be mistaken for a modern day best-selling novel.  Yet far from a modern piece of fiction this ancient historical story occurred and was recorded centuries ago.  The story begins with Queen Vashti refusing to obey an order from her husband King Xerxes, king of Persia, causing her to be banished from her royal position.  The king then sent out a decree to gather all the beautiful women in the empire and bring them into the royal harem.  Esther, a young Jewish woman, was among those chosen.  So pleasing was she to King Xerxes – obviously she was a real knockout – that he chose her to become his queen.

The drama unfolded as Haman, the king’s right-hand man, deceived the king into plotting a plan that would annihilate all the Jewish people in the kingdom.  But ultimately Esther, herself a Jewish woman turned heroine, risked her life by using her beauty and influence to turn the tables on Haman – who was eventually hung with his own rope – thus saving the Jewish people.  “And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?” suggested Mordecai, her cousin and co-hero of the story.

Do you ever wonder why you were born in this particular age and time or circumstances instead of another?  I have – often!  Why am I living on this earth at this particular time in history and to what purpose? Why was I born into a middle-class family rather than poverty – or else into wealth and royalty?  Why was I born and raised in America in a small rural community as opposed to a big city – or why not a third-world country?  Why am I of one ethnicity rather than another, short instead of tall?  I could go on and on.

The example of Esther should help as we sort through such questions; for by being there at “such a time as this” and through her courageous act, a whole nation was saved.  Her life made a difference.  So could it be that we too in our own time and circumstances have been called to make a difference; that God has placed us here for just “such a time as this”?

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  – Proverbs 27:17 

As a youngster, especially as an adolescent I had the good fortune of being surrounded by wise people I could go talk to, most notably my parents of course, but also teachers, school principals, coaches, my church pastor, other adults I looked up to, and at least one or two very close friends my own age with whom I could have serious conversations about life issues.  Those were good years for me, in great part because of those good, wise people I had to talk to when I needed someone to talk to.  College was a different story.  By that time I suppose I thought I had it figured out and could do it alone, thus I never made the effort to seek out those trusted advisors who would keep me grounded and on the right path.  I paid a price for that, losing focus for a period of time on what I was there for, causing confusion about my future and life purpose.

Who do you talk to when – well, when you just need someone to talk to?  Seriously, for as best I can tell having a trusted friend, advisor, mentor, or confidante is as much a universal human need as food and shelter.  And failure to pursue fulfilling that need can be as unhealthy as bad nutrition, indeed malnutrition.

There is a mental sharpness, a sense of clarity that comes from having relationships with good, wise people who listen and challenge and stimulate thought, who focus on you and your ideas without involving their own egos; people who know how to challenge the thought without attacking the thinker.

I learned a valuable lesson from that experience in college, after which I made a promise to never again be without wise people surrounding me, people I can talk to when I need someone to talk to.  The only difference is that at my age now, except for my wife and a few close friends, most of those trusted confidantes tend to be “younger and wiser” rather than “older and wiser.”  But that is as it should be, for they possess knowledge and experiences that I lack which makes them as capable of keeping me grounded and on the right path as the elder statesmen of my youth.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another,” says the ancient Proverb.  So, who keeps you sharp?  Who do you talk to when you just need someone to talk to?