“. . . let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”  – Matthew 5:16 

Regardless if we are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, brilliant or simple, young or old, we all influence the lives of those with whom we come in contact in some way.  Influence is perhaps the most powerful of all human social characteristics in that anything we say or do may shape the life of someone else, often times without our being aware.

Once, many years ago, while attending a large gathering I overheard a man telling someone else that he was in the process of changing careers, one that on the one hand would limit his income but on the other would allow him the freedom to do those things that are more meaningful and significant.  I’m quite sure that gentleman never knew there was someone eavesdropping, nor did he realize that what he said would powerfully influence the life of a bystander.  But it was in that moment that a seed was planted in my mind that began the process of my own career change some years later.

Who’s listening when we speak?  Who’s watching what we do?  Who’s observing our everyday lives?  Who’s overhearing our conversations?  For better or worse, who are we influencing and in what way?  It is sobering to realize the power we have to influence good or evil, success or failure, hope or despair, inspiration or disappointment.

Like the man whose conversation I inadvertently overheard at a party we seldom realize the far reaching impact of our influence.  Perhaps that is even more reason to be conscious of the awesome responsibility we have in what we say and how we behave, for every word we speak and every action we take inevitably shapes the life of another.

There’s a quote I once read attributed to John Quincy Adams.  “The influence of each human being on others in this life is a kind of immortality,” he said.  Therefore, “. . . let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”  – Luke 12:48

We’re all in this together.  I think that is the point Fiorello LaGuardia, New York City’s colorful Depression era mayor, was trying to make when on a cold January night in 1935 he turned up at a night court that happened to serve the poorest ward of the city.  Dismissing the judge for the evening the mayor took over the bench himself.  Within a few minutes, a tattered old woman was brought before him, charged with stealing a loaf of bread.  She told LaGuardia that her daughter’s husband had deserted her, her daughter was sick, and her two grandchildren were starving.  But the shopkeeper, from whom the bread was stolen, refused to drop the charges.  LaGuardia sighed.  He then turned to the woman and said, “I’ve got to punish you.  The law makes no exceptions – ten dollars or ten days in jail.  Simultaneously he reached into his own pocket producing the ten dollars to cover the fine.  “Here is the ten-dollar fine which I now remit.  And furthermore, I am going to fine everyone in this courtroom fifty cents for living in a town where a person has to steal bread so that her grandchildren can eat.”  The following day the newspapers reported that $47.50 had been collected and handed over to the bewildered old lady.

My first job in the financial services industry was with a large regional bank in Fort Worth, Texas.  There was a legendary story about that fine institution that defined its culture for years.  During the Great Depression when banks were failing and unemployment was rampant, rather than laying people off the decision was made that there would be an across-the-board pay cut.  “We’re all in this together,” in other words, and by taking that position the bank was able to maintain its solvency and the employees were able to maintain their employment so they could take care of their families.

The right to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness are among our nation’s core principles, but such personal rights also carry great responsibilities, such as being good citizens, including tending to the wellbeing of others.  “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded,” the scriptures remind us.  Mayor LaGuardia certainly made that loud and clear in his courtroom that cold January night, as did my old employer in the way it cared for the wellbeing of its employees during those dark days.  We’re all in this together, something we all need to be reminded of from time to time.

“Be sure you know the condition of your flocks . . .”  – Proverbs 27:23 

Several years ago two of my executive coaching colleagues had gone through some intensive training on working with horses as a way to coach and train high level executives to become more effective leaders.  A few months into that training they invited me out to an equestrian facility, along with a couple of other fellow coaches, to be “guinea pigs” in trying out their new skills.  Even though I had little experience with horses, being an adventurous type and a lover of animals I was all in.

When I arrived the coaches greeted me and led me out to the pens where the horses were corralled.  One of them asked if I was nervous.  “No,” I replied, “. . . well maybe a little.”  Digging a little deeper she asked, “So, where in your body do you physically feel the anxiety.”  I thought for a moment, then responded, “In my gut.”  She then instructed me to walk over to a round pen containing one of the horses and calmly stand there, doing nothing, and see if the horse would respond to me.  Sure enough, the horse cautiously approached the fence where I stood.  Then the most amazing thing happened, the horse touched me with his nose right on my gut, exactly where the anxiety had settled in my body.  It was the beginning of a beautiful relationship – at least for that afternoon.

Not being a horse person, until that day I had no idea how extraordinarily sensitive horses are to human emotions.  And even though Tracker (that was the horse’s name) could sense the mild anxiety in my gut, he was also able to sense something deeper, that I was an okay guy, and that I could be trusted.  At that point I was able to stand in the middle of the pen with Tracker where he obeyed every one of my hand gestures – go left, go right, turn around, walk slow, walk faster, stop.  Likewise, I realized I was sensing Tracker’s emotions as well, which is how he sensed I was maybe an okay guy.

What holds true in a relationship between a human and a thousand-pound horse, I learned that day, also holds true in a relationship between one human and another.  The best relationships involve being sensitive to the needs and emotions of others, or as the Proverb says, “Be sure you know the condition of your flock.”  The flock could be your peers, direct reports, clients or customers where you work, friendships, even your family and your relationship with your spouse.  Thank you, Tracker, for that great lesson!

“If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.”

• Proverbs 25:21 

Fred was not a happy camper; in fact, he was down-right angry.  The modest sized regional company he had happily worked for many years had recently been acquired by our giant international corporation and he was convinced that his business life would be ruined, that he would never again receive the personal support he had always enjoyed in serving his clients, and that he would become just a number within a huge bureaucracy.  And since I was his designated contact person in the new giant organization he was now part of, everything that he perceived would go wrong was all my fault.  I was the enemy.

Looking back I can’t blame Fred too much.  He was an older gentleman at the time, and change did not come easy.  (Being older myself now, I admit to being a bit of a curmudgeon too when dealing with change.)  But because Fred was unhappy, every phone call was a complaint of some nature.  Eventually I invited him to come spend a day with us, to meet our staff, observe our operation, and offer some hands-on training on our systems.  We treated him to a nice lunch, and made sure we had a good supply of Dr. Pepper on hand, his favorite beverage.  Every member of our staff introduced themselves and greeted him with a warm smile.  To his credit, Fred tried to be cordial too, but it was obvious he was skeptical.

That strained relationship continued for several months, until one day we both discovered by coincidence that our sons had attended the same small liberal arts university of all things.  Unexpectedly we had found common ground, and from then on Fred and I were able to work together not as enemies, but as friends.

Though this story had a happy ending, it was a bumpy ride getting there.  The Proverb says, “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat [i.e. take him to lunch]; if he is thirsty, give him water [or Dr. Pepper] to drink.”  Except I had to grit my teeth and fake my smiles through the whole episode, and I guess he did too.  Nevertheless, we both chose to take the high road by being civil rather than acting bitter, and sure enough we discovered we actually liked each other, and from then on were able to work together amicably and productively the rest of our careers.

“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”  – John 15:2 

The large holly bush beside our back gate has been there for many years, since long before we bought the house.  It’s a beautiful shrub which I have endeavored to maintain by pruning it regularly to keep it in shape.  Recently, though, I noticed a small patch of dead leaves in one particular spot.  First I thought it was only a tiny twig that simply needed to be snipped off, until further investigation revealed a dead limb tracible all the way down to the base of tree, requiring a saw to cut it out, which I feared in doing so might damage the shrub’s overall appearance.  Not so, as it turned out.  Not only did it not harm the appearance of the plant, it actually seemed to have improved its health.

Gardeners and arborists recognize two types of pruning.  One involves the removal of an entire branch, as I did in cutting out the dead limb; for branches that do not bear fruit, whether dead-dead or functionally dead, need to be cut off at the base not only because they are worthless, but they often infect the health of the overall tree.  The other type of pruning involves simply trimming back.  This type of pruning improves the plant’s health so it becomes even more productive in bearing fruit, besides maintaining a nice shape and appearance as with our holly bush.

It occurred to me as I was pruning that holly bush that day how much I am just like that – indeed we all are.  I’ve been around a long time too, and like that shrub I require a good bit of maintenance to keep me in shape.  Yet, in spite of that I still develop blemishes – similar to the dead leaves and branches – blemishes that need to be removed, like the small pre-cancer spots on my bald head the dermatologist removed this past week, which after they heal my head should look fine and certainly improve my overall health.  Likewise, I have behaviors and lifestyles that need pruning and reshaped from time to time so that I can bear more fruit.

After all, as I was reminded by that holly bush, what is the purpose of my life, and your life, if not to bear fruit?  And how can we bear good fruit without regular and proper pruning?  For, “He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”