“Carry each other’s burdens . . .”  – Galatians 6:2 

My parents were, generally speaking, affectionate people – toward each other, their children, family, and friends with whom they had close relationships.  Yet I seldom recall my Mom and Dad holding hands; that is, until they were up on years.  By then they seemed to be holding hands a lot, notably when they were out and about, crossing the street, going up and down steps, or navigating unfamiliar places.

To say they had reverted to being like two smitten teenagers sitting in a movie theater might be a bit of an exaggeration; rather at that stage in their lives hand-holding had become more of a practical matter, of providing physical and emotional support, less so about romance.  Yet, as I observed them grasping on to each other in those later years it occurred to me that they were displaying the deepest form of affection, affection that had evolved from a lifetime commitment of taking care of one another, the kind of love that transcends what two starry-eyed teenagers could ever imagine.  This has become even more clear as my spouse and I approach the age when affectionate hand-holding seems to be evolving into a more practical matter.

As a practical matter, however, hand-holding is not limited to only those in intimate relationships.  Jesus gives a remarkable example of this in his parable about a man on the road to Jericho who was attacked by robbers, beaten and left for dead, until a total stranger appeared who treated the man’s wounds, then put him on his donkey and carried him to the next village where he paid out of his own pocket for lodging and medical care.  The parable of the Good Samaritan is a hand-holding story as surely as my elderly parents holding hands to cross the street, only strangers instead of life-long partners.

The Apostle Paul reminds us that we are to “carry each other’s burdens.”  The thing I noticed about my parents was that sometimes it would be my Mom helping my Dad, and other times my Dad helping my Mom.  Either way, they were holding hands.  We are all like that, aren’t we?  At times we have burdens that are more than we can handle.  At other times we have extra capacity to help someone else struggling with a burden.  Either way, we grab hands and help each other through.  Holding hands, it is almost magical how much better off we are when we do.

“. . . the greatest of these is love.”  – 1 Corinthians 13:13 

It may have been the most profound question I have ever been asked.  Not long after learning that he and his wife Sharra were expecting their second child my son Cecil came to me with a deeply concerning question.  “How does it work, Dad?” he asked.  “While I am excited we are having another baby, my love for Zoey (their first child) is so deep, will I have enough love left in me to love another child?”  His question rocked me back on my heals.  I had never heard it asked before, at least not out loud.  I knew, of course, the answer would come when he held that new infant in his arms for the first time, but he needed a more immediate response than something months away.  So, I tried to explain to him that our capacity to love, like God’s love for us, is far greater than anything we can ever imagine.  That seemed to make sense enough to at least get me off the hook.

Almost a dozen years have now passed since that encounter, but it has crossed my mind hundreds of times.  First of all, it speaks volumes about my son’s heart that he would consider such a profound question, then have the courage to raise it in such a plain-spoken manner.  It also made me realize how often I have questioned my own capacity to love, not only for a second child, but for one, two, three, four, then five grandchildren; for new friends we’ve made along life’s journey; even for new pets we have adopted after loving the previous ones so deeply.  I am sometimes amazed by my own capacity to love.

Just as I knew would happen, Cecil’s concerns vanished several months later when he held his new baby girl in his arms for the first time.  But his question is still a profound one because at its deepest level it points to the secret of an abundant life.  First consider that if God’s love is limitless and unconditional, and if we are created in the image of God, do we not then have the capacity to love without limits or conditions too – that is, if we allow ourselves?  Jesus was plain-spoken when he explained the greatest commandment, and the secret to an abundant life – simply this, love God and love your neighbor.  So, it doesn’t really matter what we accomplish in life, according to the Apostle Paul, how many languages we speak, how much knowledge we gain, how much money we make, how many possessions we acquire, even how much we give away or how much good we do, it means nothing without love.  Among all the things we do in this life, says Paul, by far “. . . the greatest of these is love.”

“Sing to the Lord with Thanksgiving . . .” – Psalm 147:7 

“Accept, O Lord, our thanks and praise for all that you have done for us.  We thank you for the splendor of the whole creation, for the beauty of this world, for the wonder of life, and for the mystery of love.

We thank you for the blessing of family and friends, and for the loving care which surrounds us on every side.

We thank you for setting us at tasks which demand our best efforts, and for leading us to accomplishments which satisfy and delight us.

We thank you also for those disappointments and failures that lead us to acknowledge our dependence on you alone.

Above all, we thank you for your Son Jesus Christ; for the truth of his Word and the example of his life; for his steadfast obedience, by which he overcame temptation; for his dying, through which he overcame death; and for his rising to life again, in which we are raised to the life of your kingdom.

Grant us the gift of your Spirit, that we may know Christ and make him known; and through him, at all times and in all places, may give thanks to you in all things.  Amen”   (Book of Common Prayer)

Have a happy, safe, and blessed Thanksgiving!

“Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.”  – James 3:5 

Big, I think, is often overrated.  Yet, we live in a culture that seems to promote big, applaud big, and thrive on big.  Big has somehow become the definition of success, the bigger the better as we have come to believe – big business, big cities, big schools, big churches, big banks, and big government.  We look up to, practically worship sometimes, big name people, the rich and famous, super-star entertainers, athletes, and politicians.  Like the majority of those in our culture today, I have spent my adult life living in and around urban areas, working for a huge international investment banking company, where I too became indoctrinated into equating success with size.

My formative years, however, were quite the contrary where I grew up attending small schools in a small rural community whose economy was driven mostly by small farmers and small businesses like the one my own family operated.  Everything was small.  Yet even there we were encouraged by our parents, teachers, and other influencers to pursue bigger things.  That is as it should be, of course, for they simply desired for us a better life, to reach our full potential, just as we desire for our own children today.

Over the years I have come to recognize and appreciate that big is nothing more than an accumulation of  several smalls.  Cities are accumulations of small towns like I grew up in, clusters of people and families who form their own community where they love, care, and protect each other.  Likewise, big corporations are nothing more than an accumulation of small businesses where people collaborate and work together toward a profitable and rewarding outcome.  It was the experience of living in a small town that influenced me to seek out a small town within the big city, and it was our family’s small business that inspired me to develop a successful small business within a giant company.

Big is often overrated, not because it is bad, but because we tend to view it from the top down rather than the bottom up.  It is hard to see living in a culture that tends to promote, applaud, and thrive on big, that big would not exist except for the accumulation of a lot of smalls.  May we never underestimate the power and influence of small groups, small communities, and small businesses, and “. . . what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.”

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him . . .”  – Psalm 37:7 

Most of the major mistakes I have made in my life can be traced back to a common human weakness, impatience and acting too hastily, and taking matters into my own hands.  That goes from speaking out of turn, saying the wrong things, or hurting someone by something I’ve said, to making poor choices, to bad strategic decisions both in life and in business.  Impatience can blind us from our ability to reason clearly and to maintain faith that the right actions and best solutions will occur when the time is right.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is a perfect example.  God, you may recall, had promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations.  Yet he and his wife Sarah, who were advancing in years, remained childless despite God’s promise.  Eventually they became impatient and took matters into their own hands.  Sarah’s handmaid thus became the mother of Abraham’s son, Ishmael.  Except, they had acted hastily, for this was not the son God intended for them.  Finally, when Abraham was 100 and Sarah was 90 God did give them their son, Isaac, the one who he had promised.  All they had needed to do was “be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.”

Many years ago, even though my career was on the rise, I became impatient that I was not getting promoted fast enough.  Then an offer came I thought would be the answer to my longing for super success.  Instead my impatience had blinded me from thinking clearly, and my faith had faltered in believing that better opportunities might be in store.  The result was that acting hastily I made a bad strategic decision that almost destroyed my career.  But thankfully by God’s grace, as with Abraham and Sarah, that better opportunity did come along in due time, which restored my career back on the right trajectory.  In retrospect, it would have saved me a lot of pain if I had remained patient.

My grandchildren love to bake cookies with their grandmother.  But inevitably around age two they all did the same thing, they grabbed the cookie cutter out of Grantee’s hand then announced predictably, “I do it myself!”  You can imagine the mess that followed – flour, sugar, and cookie dough all over the floor.  But aren’t we all like two-year-olds in a way, impatient, acting hastily, taking matters into our own hands, then making a big mess?  If only we would learn to “be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.”