“If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.”
- Proverbs 25:21
Fred was not a happy camper; in fact, he was down-right angry. The modest sized regional company he had happily worked for many years had recently been acquired by our giant international corporation and he was convinced that his business life would be ruined, that he would never again receive the personal support he had always enjoyed in serving his clients, and that he would become just a number within a huge bureaucracy. And since I was his designated contact person in the new giant organization he was now part of, everything that he perceived would go wrong was all my fault. I was the enemy.
Looking back I can’t blame Fred too much. He was an older gentleman at the time, and change did not come easy. (Being older myself now, I admit to being a bit of a curmudgeon too when dealing with change.) But because Fred was unhappy, every phone call was a complaint of some nature. Eventually I invited him to come spend a day with us, to meet our staff, observe our operation, and offer some hands-on training on our systems. We treated him to a nice lunch, and made sure we had a good supply of Dr. Pepper on hand, his favorite beverage. Every member of our staff introduced themselves and greeted him with a warm smile. To his credit, Fred tried to be cordial too, but it was obvious he was skeptical.
That strained relationship continued for several months, until one day we both discovered by coincidence that our sons had attended the same small liberal arts university of all things. Unexpectedly we had found common ground, and from then on Fred and I were able to work together not as enemies, but as friends.
Though this story had a happy ending, it was a bumpy ride getting there. The Proverb says, “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat [i.e. take him to lunch]; if he is thirsty, give him water [or Dr. Pepper] to drink.” Except I had to grit my teeth and fake my smiles through the whole episode, and I guess he did too. Nevertheless, we both chose to take the high road by being civil rather than acting bitter, and sure enough we discovered we actually liked each other, and from then on were able to work together amicably and productively the rest of our careers.