“Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” – Mark 10:9
We seem to reminisce a lot these days, Tee and I, and while some might muse we’re acting like old people, in defense of that the fact is older people reminisce because they have accumulated years’ worth of stories to tell, whereas younger folks haven’t even yet scratched the surface. Besides, the stories we reminisce about belong to us, we created them, we wrote them, we lived them, and we’ve earned the right to retell them. Mostly, though, we laugh in our reminiscing, even at things that were not so funny at the time. Good or bad, funny or not, seems most things that happen eventually work out or teach us valuable lessons, or else we simply live right on past them.
The stories we share with each other – and others from time to time – are more than just sweet memories, much more in fact. They are history, real history, history that matters, history that needs to be passed on. Thus we reminisce. As acclaimed author, speaker and Benedictine Sister, Joan Chittister states in her powerful book The Gift of Years: “Family tales have always been the parables one generation handed down to the next to tell us who we are and where we came from. . . . The tale-telling of the older people [is] the catechism of the family. These [are] the life lessons meant to make us all stronger, wiser, and truer. It is those stories told in front of the fire, in the kitchen during a wake, at parties and memorial services, at holidays that become the fiber of a family, a group, a people. These stories become the living history that binds us together.”
A primary role of grandparents, I believe, is to ensure that grandchildren are aware of who they are and where they came from. We must teach them the “catechism of the family” as Joan Chittister refers to it. They should know our stories, for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness and in health, life lessons to help them grow stronger, wiser, and truer. It is what marriage and family is all about; why it remains one of the most sacred and influential of all institutions; and why we must endeavor to preserve and protect it. “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate,” the scriptures say. Or if I may be so bold as to rephrase, “what God has instituted, may mankind forever honor and perpetuate.” It is in the spirit of that institution that my beloved and I celebrate this very weekend fifty-two years of marriage (September 4, 1971). May, by God’s grace, we be blessed with many more stories to tell and many more years to tell them.