“If one falls down, his friend can help him up.” – Ecclesiastes 4:10
To lead, or to follow, that is the question. One executive I worked closely with back in my corporate days loved to pontificate about that issue as he would stand before his direct reports, all of whom were mid-level leaders, and admonish them in that gravelly, cigar-chomping voice of his. “Either lead, follow, or get the [blank] out of the way,” he would say. I heard him make that speech so many times I could recite it before he said it. Everyone got his point, of course; be a leader or be a follower, one or the other, but don’t be a fence-sitter or a do-nothing because then you are in the way and impeding progress.
Leading and following has been the most basic system for people working together I suppose since humans first began living together in family units and community. Someone takes the lead and others follow, and the more effectively the leader leads, and the more willingly followers follow, the better the outcomes, which essentially was the message of the corporate executive. But there is a third dimension to human interaction that is of equal importance in terms of maximizing human effectiveness (i.e. success), yet often overlooked. And leave it to none other than that great philosopher Winnie the Pooh to remind us. “Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. And don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow,” said Pooh. “Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
The International Coaching Federation (ICF), of which I am a long-time member, defines [executive] coaching as “partnering in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires a person to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity and leadership.” Coaching, in other words, is neither leading nor following, but partnering, that is walking beside. And don’t we all grow, and learn, and improve when a friend or colleague – or coach – walks the journey alongside us? Yes, we need someone to lead, and we need those who follow, but we also need someone to be our companion.
“Two are better than one,” the writer of Ecclesiastes reminds us, “because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” Either lead or follow for sure, but if you really want to succeed find a companion – a friend – to walk the journey beside you.