“Be sure you know the condition of your flocks . . .” – Proverbs 27:23
Several years ago two of my executive coaching colleagues had gone through some intensive training on working with horses as a way to coach and train high level executives to become more effective leaders. A few months into that training they invited me out to an equestrian facility, along with a couple of other fellow coaches, to be “guinea pigs” in trying out their new skills. Even though I had little experience with horses, being an adventurous type and a lover of animals I was all in.
When I arrived the coaches greeted me and led me out to the pens where the horses were corralled. One of them asked if I was nervous. “No,” I replied, “. . . well maybe a little.” Digging a little deeper she asked, “So, where in your body do you physically feel the anxiety.” I thought for a moment, then responded, “In my gut.” She then instructed me to walk over to a round pen containing one of the horses and calmly stand there, doing nothing, and see if the horse would respond to me. Sure enough, the horse cautiously approached the fence where I stood. Then the most amazing thing happened, the horse touched me with his nose right on my gut, exactly where the anxiety had settled in my body. It was the beginning of a beautiful relationship – at least for that afternoon.
Not being a horse person, until that day I had no idea how extraordinarily sensitive horses are to human emotions. And even though Tracker (that was the horse’s name) could sense the mild anxiety in my gut, he was also able to sense something deeper, that I was an okay guy, and that I could be trusted. At that point I was able to stand in the middle of the pen with Tracker where he obeyed every one of my hand gestures – go left, go right, turn around, walk slow, walk faster, stop. Likewise, I realized I was sensing Tracker’s emotions as well, which is how he sensed I was maybe an okay guy.
What holds true in a relationship between a human and a thousand-pound horse, I learned that day, also holds true in a relationship between one human and another. The best relationships involve being sensitive to the needs and emotions of others, or as the Proverb says, “Be sure you know the condition of your flock.” The flock could be your peers, direct reports, clients or customers where you work, friendships, even your family and your relationship with your spouse. Thank you, Tracker, for that great lesson!